(Where’s the)Spirit Air

Being an opinionated person, I have decided that every time I realize I hate something, I am going to award it the title of “The Worst_____.” This can mean anything from the worst restaurant to the worst brand of sneakers. Today, I am going to share with you an experience that resulted in me discovering THE WORST airline. Please remember this is all my opinion, but trust me, this airline SUCKS!

SPIRIT AIRLINES: I remember a few years back there was an airline by the name of Trans World Airlines, TWA for short. It was a running joke that the TWA  really stood for “The Worst Airline” which is probably a contributing factor to them closing their flight decks one last time and going out of business. I assumed they went bankrupt or something along the lines of that, but in actuality, it was because they could no longer compete with the new sheriff of shitty airlines in town—Spirit Airlines.

I had neither flown nor heard of Spirit before this year when my mom booked us on a flight down to Florida. For a flight the day after Christmas, all airlines wanted an arm and a leg, so my mom chose the cheaper Spirit Airlines, which only asked for some money…and my dignity.

I was skeptical about the airline from the very start. Yes, the roundtrip flights for the two of us came out to about $400 less overall than other airlines, but then they got us with all of their unnecessary fees. First let me say that (the) Spirit (of Halloween) Airlines prides themselves to be an airline in which you only have to pay for the amenities that you want. This sounded quite auspicious to me as I thought we’d be able to choose if we wanted to pay for a movie, upgraded meals or more leg room. Instead, the amenities they were referring to ended up being standard procedures/complimentary on every single other airline. You see, according to them, these amenities are: checking baggage, carrying on anything more than just one personal item, bigger seats and drinks…EVEN BOTTLED WATER. My mom got a hot tea…that’s hot water, a tea bag and a packet of Splenda= *$2. God forbid she wanted fresh lemon, that probably would have cost her an extra buck fifty, but luckily she carries around her own packets of lemon juice in her purse…perfectly normal. As I was saying, to check a bag-$26, to have a carry-on aside from ONE personal item-$30, sodas-$3, for a bigger seat-$75. The BEST part is that you have to pay for the flight and THEN you have to pay for a seat! I asked if you could just pay for the flight and stand the entire time, but of course this would be dangerous and against the law so the answer was “no.” Thus, in what world does that policy make any sense? Maybe Nebula or the Starship Enterprise, but definitely not America…probably not even Abu Dhabi.

Then we got on the plane. Leather seats…stained and most likely unsanitary. There was a black, oily looking substance lining the top of my headrest which I forced myself to ignore, and there wasn’t even enough room in front of the seats to fit a laptop. No televisions in headrests or suspended from the ceiling, aisles so thin even the Olsen twins would have to turn sideways to walk down them. It sucked…just shitty.

To give you an idea of just how awful this airline is, here’s a personal anecdote that unfolded just this morning. As you may or may not know, New York (my place of origin) is expected to get several inches of snow yesterday beginning in the early morning or afternoon. So naturally, in NY style, everyone rushed to change their flights to the earliest available which means overcrowding and overbooking which Spirit is first-rate at! It ended up that Spirit needed to make room for two customers, so they asked for two volunteers to give up their seats and in exchange for their kindness, they would receive $400 CASH each, 2 round trip tickets to ANYWHERE Spirit flies and a guaranteed seat on the next flight to Florida. They found their volunteers but once we were on the plane they had a late-comer who needed to make a cruise so she HAD to get on our flight. He offered the SAME deal to us, needing only one customer this time. No one raised their hands. Then he told us he’d be able to get that person on the next JetBlue flight out to Florida—at least 10 people raised their hand this time. Spirit Airlines is, and always should be, a last resort. Unless of course all the other airlines want $1,000 each way and Spirit is offering $5 flights. Otherwise, under no circumstance should you fly Spirit Airlines. What a displeasure.

My question is, where do they get off charging someone for a cup of luke warm water the size of a baby’s fist? Every single other airline, whether they charge for baggage or not, is kind enough to give out complimentary beverages other than alcohol. JetBlue even gives out snacks—GREAT snacks! Spirit was charging $4 for a bag of Combos. I’m truly surprised there wasn’t a coin slot next to the air vents above our seats. Same goes for a coin slot outside the bathroom…but then my mom told me that would be illegal.

* Of course this fee was not paid for because my mother complained the water wasn’t hot enough, so we just paid the $3 for my can of Coke Zero instead.

Great On Paper, Awful In Person

Writers. Some go above and beyond and some fall flat on their literary faces. Some writers have the luck of being very talented and professional writers, as well as very talented and professional people. Their writing is impeccable, smart, funny, entertaining–anything but flat and boring–and they have the personality to match. Their charisma is contagious and infectious, you just want to be around them, constantly, and hope they will some day include you in one of their blog posts, novels or screenplays.

But, this is the real world, and unfortunately not all writers can be as great in person as they are on paper. As a matter of fact, some people are writers because their personalities suck, they’re socially awkward, and can only express themselves through the written, or typed, word. I happen to know a few people like this, and it happens to be quite comical…and downright annoying. I’m not saying that I’m perfect on page and in person, but I happen to be just as fun in person as I am on paper. “But Ditk, you can’t judge how you are in person because you ARE you! Of course you’re going to say you have a great personality and can write very well!” (this wasn’t an actual quote, this was just me reading your mind…scary, I know) The truth is I can’t read my personality, but I can read my writing, and so can all of my family and peers. The people who have read my writing have told me on countless occasions that I write the way I speak, meaning when they are reading something that I have written, they can picture me speaking those exact words and can actually hear me reading the paper in their head. This is clear cut evidence that my personality matches my writing skills. My opinion, reviews and stories that I write are ones that I often share verbally in person, and when I write, I basically just have a conversation in my head and then transcribe it onto the page in front of me. Those who excell on paper and fail in person have a technical error somewhere that allows them to express themselves well on the path from brain to page, but not brain to mouth.

Basically, if you’re confused, all I am saying is that if you’re a great writer, you might want to work on your personal skills as well. Why do I suggest this? Well, let’s say your latest novel gets published and they want you to do a 25 city book tour/signing. Your book could be the next Harry Potter, but if you can’t engage in normal conversation, people are going to get turned off when they meet you, and then they will tell their mother who will tell your aunt who will tell your cousin who will tell her boss who will tell his wife that you suck, and thus creates a vicious cycle of negative feedback that could eventually lead to a decrease in sales and a one way ticket to being sold exclusively at Home Goods.

Final word: Exercise the same amount of personality and spunk in person that you do in your writing. Not only will you have a greater chance at becoming successful, but you’ll make more friends and sound a lot smarter too.

I’m actually probably really awkward…oops.

Ditk

Kiss My Past

Nightmares. Some people have them, some people don’t, and some people just live them when they think about their past. We’ve all done things in our past that we aren’t proud of, but, in turn, our past has ultimately turned into one giant  lesson that continues to teach us everyday. If I didn’t burn myself on the clothes iron years ago, I’d probably be pressing it to my face right about now for warmth, and if I didn’t kick that girl in middle school and get detention, I’d probably be pro-violence today and wind up behind bars. Basically, who cares what happened yesterday when you’re living today, and have to get up and live again tomorrow, and the day after, and so on and so forth.

My advice is to think forward. Don’t think about what you did in high school, think about what you’re going to do tomorrow, or even tonight with your friends. Don’t think about that time you burped incredibly loud at a business dinner, hink about that big presentation you need to prepare for tomorrow, or that job interview you have lined up next week. This positivity will surely get you over your past, and make your future a lot brighter. If you can turn the terror of your past into positive energy, you will be well on your way to a great future career, life and love.

     I know that I have gotten over my past, for the most part, but it wasn’t easy. It may seem like a lost cause to you, but it isn’t, I promise. Once you achieve it, you’ll feel brand new–like a newborn, with hair, teeth and style. Will you make new mistakes that you aren’t proud of? Yes, but that just comes as a responsibility with the job of living. So, in the words of Miss Frizzle from The Magic School Bus ” Take chances, make mistakes, get messy” because you’ll only learn and become a better, stronger and smarter person from them.

Ditk

Marionettes Finish Last

This post is going to be more of a rant, but at the same time, it may offer a nice bit of advice…

     Don’t ever let anybody run your life for you. I don’t care who it is, you absolutely have to live life your own way. Of course, some guidelines are obviously okay (like ones that are set by your parents and/or guardians) but in general, do what you want to do, live how you want to live. Don’t fall to the feet of someone else, because one day that person won’t be around anymore, and then what are you going to do? Wait for the next guy who has a nice set of strings to hook onto your shoulders and move you whichever way he chooses? No, because that’d be stupid, and foolish. Besides, if you spend your entire life, or even just part of your life, following how someone else wants you to live, you’ll get so caught up in THEIR life, that you’ll miss part of your own! 

     You’ll begin to forget about your other friends, you know, the ones you had before you surrendered your life to someone else, and that will just end terribly–because one day, your “master” will be gone, and then who are you gonna cry to? You may be too old to cry to mommy and daddy, so that’s what FRIENDS are for. FRIENDS will always be there for you, no matter what. Relationships come and go.

Let this be a lesson to all that let temporary things get in the way of permanent ones.

Squeezed in the Middle

It’s not always easy being in the middle of a fight between two of your good friends. Not only do you feel torn between sides, but you yourself begin to feel like a child’s toy being pulled in each direction, and even though you many not be doing any of the fighting, you come out as the most exhausted member of the feud. Questions such as “who do I hang out with?”, “Who’s right?”, or maybe “Is any of this my fault?” may fill your head sending you on a one way trip to “headacheville”, bordering the town of “panic”, in the city of “stress”. So, to help , here’s my opinion, advice, and stance on the situation, as to what you should do if you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of one of these situations, because trust me, they can get quite brutal.

     As soon as you become aware of the situation, beware of all-out “venting” sessions from either party. It’s always good to let your friends vent, but it’s never good to get too involved because something you say may get back to your other friend, which will ultimately place you IN the fight, as opposed to in the middle of the fight. Trust me, being in the middle may suck, but not as much as being in the actual fight would. Also, you may become an object in the eyes of your friends, and begin to be seen as the prize. Your time and attention will be desired by both contenders, as they may begin to think whoever spends the most time with you is right, because then they may think you’re taking the side of whomever you hang out with/speak to the most. There are two ways to deal with this: 1. divide your time equally among the two of them or 2. take a break until they figure everything out on their own. If you avoid them for a few days, they may begin to realize if they continue to fight, they’ll lose you as a friend as well, and if they care about you, they’ll come to an agreement to better their common friends. Going back to your first option though, dividing your time equally may cause more of a headache and seem like you’re going through a custody battle with your EX. That’s something you definitely don’t want, so #2 may be your best bet, in my opinion. 

     I agree it may be very hard to avoid your friends all together, but you don’t have to avoid them completely, you may just tone it down a little. For instance, stick to texts and phone calls, and make sure none of your conversations are about the opposing friend, because it may become an uncomfortable situation for you. I say texts and phone calls because if one friend sees you with the other friend, jealousy may ensue, and the fight could worsen. If you feel like you’re in the dark on the whole situation, it’s ok to ask their side of the problem, but make sure you also get it from the other side as well, so it doesn’t seem like you only care about one person’s opinion. 

     Ultimately, fights in which you’re stuck in the middle of two arguing friends suck, there’s really no other way to describe them. But if you just breathe, think everything through, and stay neutral, things will work out, and the argument will die down overtime. Yeah, you may not want to wait, but don’t try to rush things, it may just make them worse. Eventually, your friends will realize whatever they are arguing over isn’t worth losing each other, or you, as friends, and will just make everything Kosher again.

Peace in the MIDDLE East.

If there’s anything you’d like to see me blog about, shoot me an email. Whether it’s advice you’re looking for, or my opinion on something, or even just something stupid, I have no life, so you can bet your bottom blogger that I’ll blog about it! Thanks for stopping by!

A Ditk

College Freshmen…dry your worried tears, A Ditk is here!

     So for all ya’ll about to endeavor on your greatest journey yet, here are a few things to keep in mind to make your first year the best yet! Oh, by the way, I’m talking about entering college…here we go.

1. Wear flip flops in the showers-you’d be surprised what’s lurking beneath the surface of those tiles, and trust me, it’s nothing your bare-feet, or you for that matter, would want to come into contact with! Try Havianna flip flops, they’re super comfortable, and inexpensive…sort of.
2. Stay away from vending machines– their glowing light and colorful assortment of snacks may attract you like a fly to a fruit bowl in the late hours of weekend nights, but trust me, what may seem like a harmless bag of chips will truly turn into a nice set of love handles…that no one wants to love…trust me, I learned first hand!
3. Boots with traction on the bottom!!!!!(for cold weather schools)- trust me, UGG boots are great–warm, stylish, comfortable–but when it comes to scurrying to class on a cold, snowy winter’s day, the only thing you’re going to look is foolish when you slip on the quad provoking a series of FRESHMAN, FRESHMAN, FRESHMAN chants from upperclassmen. Trust me, even if they don’t make you look like Heidi Klum, buy snow boots with traction…they will save your life…from death AND embarrassment. Try North Face boots, they have some nice styles with slip-proof bottoms, I have yet to slip in mine…although I probably just jinxed it so I’m sure I will this year.
4. Bring pictures!– worried about who your roommate will be? Scared they may be “cooler” than you? Well that’s nothing a shit-ton of pictures can’t fix! Go to CVS, slip in your memory card, or a picture disc, and print away! When you get to your dorm, decorate your walls with them, slip some into picture frames, go crazy. Your roommate will see how many friends you had at home and she will instantly know you’re not a loser and had a life back at home…unless she reads this blog too, then you might be screwed…in which case they still make great decorations!
5. *****DON’T BE NERVOUS*****– I cannot stress this enough! I admit, going into my first year I was nervous, just a little bit, but as soon as I arrived, I felt comfortable as can be! Don’t worry about making friends, it comes naturally in college. Start out by mingling with the people on your floor, talk to them, get their numbers, etc. Then, tell them when you hear about a party, ask them to tag along with you to meals or the bookstore to pick up some books, do this, and you’ll be making friends in no time! Also, don’t be afraid to sit next to a stranger in class, they may become one of your best friends!
6. Set aside study/personal time-So we’ve all been there–the first year of college where all you want to do is party, party, party and get shit-faced every night until you realize your a freshman again next year, well…bad idea. I’m not saying don’t party, because it’s definitely great, but I guess what I’m trying to say is that staying in one night over the weekend wouldn’t kill you, at least it’s safer than chugging a bottle of Cuervo. Set aside some time to yourself, and your studies. I’m not saying spend every waking hour studying and writing papers, but if you set aside time maybe 2-3 times a week for a few hours, once midterms and finals come around, you’ll be a lot less stressed, trust me, time management is KEY in college. You’ll thank me later, no need to do so now.
7.  Be yourself- everyone in college will see right through your exterior cover-up if you’re not yourself, if not right away, they definitely will later on once they get to know you and realize they DON’T know you at all. Don’t worry about showing off and being part of the popular crowd, this isn’t high school, there’s too many people for there to be just ONE particular popular crowd, trust me. Don’t worry about showing off, or talking about how much money your parents make, no one likes a show-off, it will just turn people away when you make them feel like crap because they can’t afford the newest Louis Vuitton bag or David Yurman ring. As my mother always says, “there’s an ass for every seat”, so you’ll find your crowd/group of friends, don’t try and push your way into uncomfortable situations, it will only lead to bad times and stress. Be yourself, there will be hundreds of kids in the same boat, you will find your way!
8. Don’t sleep around– I don’t think this even needs an explanation, but just incase you like pride yourself on taking a trip around the bases every night, I’ll say it once, and I’ll say it loud…COLLEGE HAS STDs! More so than high school did or does, so BE SMART! Don’t think you’re going to be the  new “cool” girl/guy on campus just because you’ve slept with someone in every frat/sorority on campus, because if you do, the only thing you’re going to be is the subject of a cruel posting on a college gossip website. I know some of you are stubborn in your decisions, but just don’t say A Ditk didn’t warn you! 
9. Greek Life– It may seem like it’s everywhere at your school, or it may not even exist, but present or not, you DON’T have to join a frat/sorority at your school, so do not feel pressured to do so! Joining one will however help you make friends and keep your social calendar chock full of events and activities, but that may not be for you. Going greek or not, you WILL make friends and you WILL have plenty of social events and activities at your finger tips. Joining greek life is not for everyone, but I do suggest looking into it, open-minded of course, if you’re the least bit interested, you may like what you see.
10. Alcohol– peanut butter & jelly, bagels and lox, college and beer/alcohol. Which combination is the most dangerous? Well, if you’re watching your weight, maybe the first two, but we’re not talking weight wise right now…though beer bellies are prevalent amongst freshman, ok now I’m getting off topic…alcoholic beverages will be all around you in college, and I just want to stress that it’s definitely ok to pass on drinking them. You won’t be deemed a loser, you won’t be frowned upon, you may actually be respected for your decision to resist the urge to drink and remain responsible. Always mix your own drinks, roofies are errrrwhere, and don’t be an idiot, if you’re on medication, don’t drink, you’ll end up sicker than a dog after ingesting a pint of ice cream. Whatever you choose to do when it comes to alcohol consumption in college, just know your limits, because there are only so many times you can “blame it on the Goose” and continue to get away with it.
11. DON’T WALK ALONE AT NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is all, don’t be scared, because with this list, you’ll be prepared! Hooray for cheesy rhymes!