It’s not always easy being in the middle of a fight between two of your good friends. Not only do you feel torn between sides, but you yourself begin to feel like a child’s toy being pulled in each direction, and even though you many not be doing any of the fighting, you come out as the most exhausted member of the feud. Questions such as “who do I hang out with?”, “Who’s right?”, or maybe “Is any of this my fault?” may fill your head sending you on a one way trip to “headacheville”, bordering the town of “panic”, in the city of “stress”. So, to help , here’s my opinion, advice, and stance on the situation, as to what you should do if you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of one of these situations, because trust me, they can get quite brutal.
As soon as you become aware of the situation, beware of all-out “venting” sessions from either party. It’s always good to let your friends vent, but it’s never good to get too involved because something you say may get back to your other friend, which will ultimately place you IN the fight, as opposed to in the middle of the fight. Trust me, being in the middle may suck, but not as much as being in the actual fight would. Also, you may become an object in the eyes of your friends, and begin to be seen as the prize. Your time and attention will be desired by both contenders, as they may begin to think whoever spends the most time with you is right, because then they may think you’re taking the side of whomever you hang out with/speak to the most. There are two ways to deal with this: 1. divide your time equally among the two of them or 2. take a break until they figure everything out on their own. If you avoid them for a few days, they may begin to realize if they continue to fight, they’ll lose you as a friend as well, and if they care about you, they’ll come to an agreement to better their common friends. Going back to your first option though, dividing your time equally may cause more of a headache and seem like you’re going through a custody battle with your EX. That’s something you definitely don’t want, so #2 may be your best bet, in my opinion.
I agree it may be very hard to avoid your friends all together, but you don’t have to avoid them completely, you may just tone it down a little. For instance, stick to texts and phone calls, and make sure none of your conversations are about the opposing friend, because it may become an uncomfortable situation for you. I say texts and phone calls because if one friend sees you with the other friend, jealousy may ensue, and the fight could worsen. If you feel like you’re in the dark on the whole situation, it’s ok to ask their side of the problem, but make sure you also get it from the other side as well, so it doesn’t seem like you only care about one person’s opinion.
Ultimately, fights in which you’re stuck in the middle of two arguing friends suck, there’s really no other way to describe them. But if you just breathe, think everything through, and stay neutral, things will work out, and the argument will die down overtime. Yeah, you may not want to wait, but don’t try to rush things, it may just make them worse. Eventually, your friends will realize whatever they are arguing over isn’t worth losing each other, or you, as friends, and will just make everything Kosher again.
Peace in the MIDDLE East.
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