So once again, it’s that time of year. The time of year that makes some smile, some cringe, and some paint themselves head-to-toe in body paint, resulting in a rash. Regardless of which category you fall into, it’s October–time for the World Series. Usually around this time of year I feel miserable because my team, The Mets, are no longer in the running for any title whatsoever, which is of course the case for this year’s series as well. When this situation occurs, I usually just drown out all of the noise and excitement of the series and live my life, but this year is different; for this year, the World Series Gods have come together to create a force so lethal, so irritating, and SO against my will that I can’t help but bite my fingernails and stick my face in a vat of ice water hoping that the numbness will help me forget the match-up at hand–Yankess vs. Phillies. Not only do I hate the Yankess, but I HATE the Yankess. I am by no means a terrible person, and would never wish death upon anybody no matter how much I despise them, but if the Yankees all happened to disappear, never to be seen again, I’d probably bake a cake and celebrate. Well, maybe not that extreme, but I probably wouldn’t care at all. Of course the Yankees being in the series again for the first time in a short-while puts a nice noose around my neck, but the Phillies, the other team I despise, being their opponent is what kicks the chair out from under my feet.
Basically, this series is going to kill me. Every other year, it’s just like whatever. Last year it was a Phillies/Rays series and I honestly couldn’t care less because one of the teams is named after a fish that stings people–so scary–and the other named after a city with a sandwich and cream cheese. So why am I so concerned this year, you ask, well it’s simple; one of the two teams I HATE is going to win–it’s inevitable. I guess last year the sandwiches could have lost to the fish so that’s why I wasn’t too concerned (not to mention my hatred for the Phils didn’t start until the beginning of this season, but boy-oh-boy did it grow fast!).
I have taken a while to sit back and think on these things, and I have come to the decision that–and I can’t believe I’m going to say this–I will be rooting for the Phillies in this series; if only for the fact that I have obviously hated the Yankees longer, basically since birth, and Philly is known for their cream cheese, and everyone knows how much Jews love them some good schmere. But don’t go out to celebrate just yet, Phillies “Phans”, because it’s not like I’m going to be trading in my orange and blue for red and white anytime soon (or ever for that matter), this is just VERY temporary, and once the series ends, regardless of who comes out victorious, I’ll still be a Mets fan until the day that I die, and then some.
There are some positive things about this series though, and so I guess I can be a little nice and drop the bitterness for just a moment and list them out for you:
- It will keep the Yankee fans off the streets for once (they’ll all be at the game, in bars, or their homes watching and (hopefully) crying).
- New York is going to make a lot of money, and even though I hate the Yankees, I obviously Love New York (just like the t-shirt, but less tacky).
- The new Yankee stadium will get some good use, because it’s not good for much else.
- The cast of Glee, one of my new favorite shows, will be performing the National Anthem at one of the games
- Jay-Z will be performing before game 2
- More playing time means more time and chances for the players to get injured! I’m hoping for a few broken bones adorned with pinstripe casts.
So, to wrap it up, I wish both teams the best of luck–and by luck I mean I hope a giant food fight breaks out at one of the games and all the New Yorkers throw hot dogs and the Philadelphians fling cream cheese and cheese steaks (what is it with that place and cheese? Are they trying to compete with Wisconsin or something? I’d like to see a cheese brawl). Other than that, it’s just another series for me, a world ending series, but bigger than a presidential election for others. Speaking of which, this post may not win the popular vote with some people, but in this world even if you’re hated, you can still reign. George Bush? Adolf Hitler? Mao Zae Dong? OH sorry, how did my history homework get mixed in with this post…my bad–blame cut and paste.
Well, PLAY BALL.