Tag Archives: tips

Great On Paper, Awful In Person

22 Jun

Writers. Some go above and beyond and some fall flat on their literary faces. Some writers have the luck of being very talented and professional writers, as well as very talented and professional people. Their writing is impeccable, smart, funny, entertaining–anything but flat and boring–and they have the personality to match. Their charisma is contagious and infectious, you just want to be around them, constantly, and hope they will some day include you in one of their blog posts, novels or screenplays.

But, this is the real world, and unfortunately not all writers can be as great in person as they are on paper. As a matter of fact, some people are writers because their personalities suck, they’re socially awkward, and can only express themselves through the written, or typed, word. I happen to know a few people like this, and it happens to be quite comical…and downright annoying. I’m not saying that I’m perfect on page and in person, but I happen to be just as fun in person as I am on paper. “But Ditk, you can’t judge how you are in person because you ARE you! Of course you’re going to say you have a great personality and can write very well!” (this wasn’t an actual quote, this was just me reading your mind…scary, I know) The truth is I can’t read my personality, but I can read my writing, and so can all of my family and peers. The people who have read my writing have told me on countless occasions that I write the way I speak, meaning when they are reading something that I have written, they can picture me speaking those exact words and can actually hear me reading the paper in their head. This is clear cut evidence that my personality matches my writing skills. My opinion, reviews and stories that I write are ones that I often share verbally in person, and when I write, I basically just have a conversation in my head and then transcribe it onto the page in front of me. Those who excell on paper and fail in person have a technical error somewhere that allows them to express themselves well on the path from brain to page, but not brain to mouth.

Basically, if you’re confused, all I am saying is that if you’re a great writer, you might want to work on your personal skills as well. Why do I suggest this? Well, let’s say your latest novel gets published and they want you to do a 25 city book tour/signing. Your book could be the next Harry Potter, but if you can’t engage in normal conversation, people are going to get turned off when they meet you, and then they will tell their mother who will tell your aunt who will tell your cousin who will tell her boss who will tell his wife that you suck, and thus creates a vicious cycle of negative feedback that could eventually lead to a decrease in sales and a one way ticket to being sold exclusively at Home Goods.

Final word: Exercise the same amount of personality and spunk in person that you do in your writing. Not only will you have a greater chance at becoming successful, but you’ll make more friends and sound a lot smarter too.

I’m actually probably really awkward…oops.



Sweeping the Nation

17 Feb

People with attitude problems have always struck a rather large nerve with me, and I think it’s about time they learn how to handle situations without getting in someone’s face. Lately, I have witnessed more verbal fights than ever before, and I’m honestly getting sick and tired of watching my friends break down and cry all because of some incompetent person who has nothing better to do with their time and energy. Being the kind, loving and generous person that I am, I have decided to compile a “pocket guide” for those who blow up, because it’s time for them to grow up.

1. Stop, drop and think: If a situation arises that blows your top, stop for just one minute and think “is this really worth my time?” Chances are, if you’re a constant offender, the answer will be “no” and in that case you will drop the issue and walk away like an adult.

2. Be the bigger person: If someone wants to get in your face, show them that you’re more mature and either calmly set them aside to TALK (not yell) about the issue at hand to resolve it or simply smile and walk away.

3. Don’t be stupid: There are literally thousands of issues in the world everyday, probably millions but I’m not a statistics whiz. If you let EVERY issue get to you, you’re going to wear yourself out so fast you won’t be able to stand up for more than 2 minutes without having to sit down to catch your breath–I promise you that. If something is really worth your time and argument, then you will know it, but if you’re one of those “all I wanna do is get into a verbal fight” people, then you’re fucked, UNLESS you learn when to and when not to speak up. So seriously think about it.

4. Leave where you’re from out of it: I don’t care if you’re from China or Brooklyn, and chances are neither does your “opponent”. Your hometown does not change your muscle mass and I guarantee threatening someone by saying “I’m from Brooklyn, the streets! Don’t think I won’t cut a bitch” won’t change the fact that you just yelled at a body builder from Connecticut. They’ll just laugh and walk away, because you’ll look like a moron.

5. THINK!: This is the one thing no one tends to do when they’re angry, and even I’m guilty as well. When you’re heated, you tend to lose your filter and just say whatever comes to mind–this will only make the situation worse. Though it may be admirable that you can say your problems to someone’s face instead of just behind their back, if you’re all shook up you might end up saying something completely out of line that has nothing to do with the situation at hand, and therefore end up making matters worse, not to mention looking like an idiot.

6. Get a hobby: I know it may sound lame, but finding something to do that channels your anger in a more positive way can work wonders! For instance, when I’m angry, I blog! Not only does it help me get my feelings out in a non-violent way, but it helps others because they may be feeling the same way I am and upon reading one of my posts, they may feel a lot better or realize a better way to solve one of the problems they may be having. I know blogging isn’t for everyone, but there’s lots of other activities to do, such as knitting, painting, drawing, sewing etc. Not the artsy type? Try something a little more physical like kickboxing, aerobics or rock climbing. Sometimes going for a quiet drive around town, listening to your favorite music helps a lot too. Whatever you choose, there’s something for everyone and I believe hobbies can save lives. It’s something to occupy your time and keep you from altercations.

So there you have it folks, 6 easy steps to becoming a better, less argumentative you!  Or you can choose not to follow this guide and lose all of your friends, that’s cool too…whatever floats your boat.

You can thank me later ; )


Methods for an Easy Fast

24 Sep

If you haven’t guessed by now, I am indeed a Jew. If that fact decreases my number of viewers, so be it, but I love being Jewish, so I won’t let it slow me down even if it gets you down. Being that Yom Kippur, one of holiest Jewish holidays, starts this weekend, I thought I’d give some tips as to how to enjoy fasting–something I never thought was even possible.

1. Eat a large dinner the night before–after dinner on the eve of Yom Kippur, your fast begins, so eat your heart out, otherwise you’re going to end up gnawing on your fingers in your sleep, possibly resulting in the loss of appendages.

2. Sleep as late as possible (unless, of course you do the whole temple thing, because I don’t do that anymore).

3. Spend an entire afternoon watching reruns of America’s Next Top Model– for obvious reasons, watching this show will further encourage you to not eat which fits in perfectly with a day of fasting!

4. Don’t watch the Food Network–I did this once…never again.

5. Hang out with Jews–this holiday is a chance for all the non-Jews that I eat meat in front of on Friday’s during lent to retaliate, so I find it safe to hang out with my own kind.

6. Don’t eat too heavy when you break your fast– regurgitation is not a happy ending to a holy holiday. Keep it simple, keep it light, the closeness in proximity with the words breakfast and break-fast is not a coincidence! You’re supposed to, typically, eat breakfast foods such as bagels, lox and shmere as if it was your first meal of the day–because it is!

Well, there you have it. I hope these simple tips will help you have the easiest of fasts! L’Shana Tova, Chag Sameach, Happy Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement)

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