Tag Archives: Drunken Mess

Open 24 Hours

27 Mar

There are many peaceful things in life: the sound of the ocean; doves; Jerry Garcia–but recently I discovered something that is quite possibly the most peaceful of them all–late night grocery shopping. Technically it is “wee hours of the morning” grocery shopping, but when you’re in college, 2:30AM is late, not early. I was having a rough night–nothing seemed to be going my way–so I decided to drive around and found myself in front of Wegmans, a wonderful grocery establishment. Being that it is open 24 hours and I needed to blow off some steam, I parked my car and went inside. It’s safe to say I was the only shopper there, and the “fresh baked this morning” cakes, breads and muffins were now “day old specials” and the new batch hadn’t even been started yet. It was 2:30AM…actually it was just an hour ago. I slowly browsed the aisles trying to stay awake. The only sign of life was late-night workers stocking shelves and mindless, young employees listening to their ipods while turning all of the shelved items’ labels to face forward. I bought a few items, diet iced tea, fat free chips, gluten free mexican layer dip and a diet soda…and a Beanie Baby. But it wasn’t the huge tubs of butter and barely-there employees that made this trip a modern wonder, it was the serenity of it all. I was alone, but not lonely. The place was empty, but not deserted. It was a feeling that I can’t truly describe any other way except for oddly peaceful.

Many of you may be wondering (or not at all) what I was doing up so late. Well, for starters, it was Saturday (Sunday morning) so a lot of people were still awake, BUT, I had taken a nice nap from about 2-6:30PM earlier in the day and because of that, I was thrown off my own axis.

Now that my reasoning has been covered, I must say that shopping for groceries, in a SAFE area, at 2:30AM is definitely something I would recommend if you can’t sleep and just don’t feel like being at home…or around anyone else for that matter.

When all was said and done, I pulled into the parking lot of my sorority house, in front of the sign that reads “RESERVED PARKING” with “FOR DOUCHEBAGS” scribbled in sharpie underneath, when I saw my friend helping some poor, drunken girl down the stairs. She was assisting said drunk girl to her car when she signaled to me. I asked if everything was okay, and if she was okay to drive and then she asked if I would please come with her. I didn’t question her request and got into her car. Once I shut the door, I heard a girl in the backseat scream my name. Low and behold, the drunken mess was one of my very good friends…and roommate from last year. Apparently, my friend was walking home when she saw a girl, my former roommate, dart out of an eatery. She recognized her immediately and said hello. My former roommate said she was trying to get away from a guy she was with (typical) and felt very ill (she had been drinking…A LOT…and in stiletto/platform heels.) My friend walked my former roommate back to her house where she threw up in the bathroom. Then my friend gave her a bagel and that’s where my night and her night aligned. I hadn’t seen my former roommate in quite some time, and we’ve been trying to get together for dinner or something, but I guess this works too.


Drunk Recent College Grad Say Whhhhat?

23 Jul

I hate to give “Texts From Last Night” a run for their money, but I cannot help if what I am about to post is going to give “TFLN” a run for their money…

Below, is a message my friend sent me which was taken directly from a “memo” she saved on her phone, that we clearly find out is a Blackberry about 30 times, one night when she was doing her usual drunk galavanting around NYC, but for some reason, on that particular night, felt the need to write about it. I wish you all the best of luck while reading it, because, well, I sure couldn’t!  This is what I call a real drunk text as it is not legible, and is more random than a child with severe ADD in a petting zoo. 

So I decided oi wajnted to record my drunbken journey of the city
I am jusdt goinna qwrite in this whenever I am drunk and want to look like I am
doiung something...I am just gobnna recored my thouights wethjer they coime out
taped righrt ore not...like righrt now I don't know how I feel cus I am shiut
faced trying to get hyom$ ane m$y phone nob loner can have wqireless on.,m.I
realized another reasone I love blackberries....I can be shit faced...oke sop
right now I am waiting for the bus acroiss town...tghere are def people looking
at me but I do|t know if its hbecuase I think I'm drunk or because I am a
blackberry addict...so let me explain...I was the good girl in high school.$$..I
didn't fo anythinbg¤.n,m- triedx beer once and I decided that I was like my dad
and I didn't like it...I told all m$y friejndsa that...that I didn't like the
taste because it was gewntic....y parents where smart...they new how to raise
us....to be afrauid of alcogolk....scared opf whart might happned if we actually
tried it....it wa4 bnad...no itg ewas grloss...but appatrently muy brtother did
not feel the sqame way....he thouight he shouyld 

I will keep the identity of said friend anonymous because let’s face it, if I drunkenly left myself a memo about what I did one night while I was drunk, but was too drunk to form a memo legible enough to read the next day when sober again and looking to relive the night prior to that day, well, I wouldn’t want anyone to know about it either. Treat others as you would want to be treated! It’s the golden rule!

Until next text, or time…

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