Tag Archives: taylor swift

BREAKING NEWS!

5 Jan

So if you haven’t a;ready heard, the adorable couple that was Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal called it quits earlier today. Being notorious for writing songs about her failed relationships and not being secretive about the boy who broke her heart, jokes were immediately made about what Tay Tay’s song about Jakey-Poo would sound like. Well, ladies and gents, the lyrics for Taylor’s song about Jake have surfaced only to prove that she doesn’t mess around! I acquired them from a super, secret source, but just remember where you saw these lyrics first!!!!!!

 

Jake the Snake

Jake, Jake. I really liked you but you were fake, fake

Thought you were mine for the taking

But like your movies we started tanking, yeah

 

All I wanted was love and hugs

But all you gave me were some other drugs

You bought me presents that totaled a lot

And took me for coffee that really hit the spot

But it was availability and kindness that you lacked

You’re getting old so I guess you’ll have to go Brokeback

 

You were my Prince of Persia

As we sat under an October Sky

I was the Good Girl who walked a Moonlight Mile

Just to find Proof in your smile

I gave you everything, I was full of joy

Even forgave you for playing Bubble Boy

I guess I just don’t understand…I thought you were Spiderman

 

That night I turned 21

Wanted to stay in but you wanted to have fun

So you took my hand and away we went

Good time were had and money was spent

My phone rang at 11 PM

I just couldn’t miss this call again

My producer said he needs just one more song

Right then I knew we just couldn’t last long!

 

You were my Prince of Persia

As we sat under an October Sky

I was the Good Girl who walked a Moonlight Mile

Just to find Proof in your smile

I gave you everything, I was full of joy

Even forgave you for playing Bubble Boy

I guess I just don’t understand…I thought you were Spiderman

 

I know I’ll be sad

Thinking back on the good times we’ve had

But I know The Day After Tomorrow

My heart will no longer be filled with sorrow

So for now it’s time to make my bed

Besides, you were just a silly Jarhead

You were my Prince of Persia

As we sat under an October Sky

I was the Good Girl who walked a Moonlight Mile

Just to find Proof in your smile

I gave you everything, I was full of joy

Even forgave you for playing Bubble Boy

I guess I just don’t understand…I thought you were Spiderman

 

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Not Nice Kanye, Not Nice

15 Sep

Kanye West is a douche bag…that’s pretty much it. 

Just incase you were hiding under a rock this past Sunday night, Taylor Swift won the award for best female music video, or something like that, and while she was making her acceptance speech Mr. D-bag walked up onto the stage, took the mic out of Tay’s hand, and exclaimed that Beyonce had the best video of the year, and that she should have been the winner. Now, this was Tay’s FIRST VMA, and all she was trying to do was show how humble she was for winning. It’s not like an academy decided who won, Kanye, the fans VOTED online, so if you really felt so passionate about Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” video, you could have sat down at home, on your Louis Vuitton leather couch, in your Louis Vuitton robe and slippers, with a nice bowl of ice cream and voted for her 1,000,000,000 times under numerous different accounts–but you didn’t, so you obviously don’t care THAT much. Take that, now rewind it back.

Overall, his music may be good, his beats may be sick, and his style and fashion sense may be dope, but at the end of the day, he still parks his douche-mobile in the parking lot of his douche-mansion in doucheville U.S.A.

Honestly Kanye, how could you be so heartless? Tay Swift is still only a tender 19 year old female, with feelings, and now you’ve given her an entirely new reason to have teardrops on her guitar. Shame on you. And incase you forgot, I’m still pissed that your Louis Vuitton kicks are going for no less that $800…what a scam.

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