Tag Archives: stories

BREAKING NEWS!

5 Jan

So if you haven’t a;ready heard, the adorable couple that was Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal called it quits earlier today. Being notorious for writing songs about her failed relationships and not being secretive about the boy who broke her heart, jokes were immediately made about what Tay Tay’s song about Jakey-Poo would sound like. Well, ladies and gents, the lyrics for Taylor’s song about Jake have surfaced only to prove that she doesn’t mess around! I acquired them from a super, secret source, but just remember where you saw these lyrics first!!!!!!

 

Jake the Snake

Jake, Jake. I really liked you but you were fake, fake

Thought you were mine for the taking

But like your movies we started tanking, yeah

 

All I wanted was love and hugs

But all you gave me were some other drugs

You bought me presents that totaled a lot

And took me for coffee that really hit the spot

But it was availability and kindness that you lacked

You’re getting old so I guess you’ll have to go Brokeback

 

You were my Prince of Persia

As we sat under an October Sky

I was the Good Girl who walked a Moonlight Mile

Just to find Proof in your smile

I gave you everything, I was full of joy

Even forgave you for playing Bubble Boy

I guess I just don’t understand…I thought you were Spiderman

 

That night I turned 21

Wanted to stay in but you wanted to have fun

So you took my hand and away we went

Good time were had and money was spent

My phone rang at 11 PM

I just couldn’t miss this call again

My producer said he needs just one more song

Right then I knew we just couldn’t last long!

 

You were my Prince of Persia

As we sat under an October Sky

I was the Good Girl who walked a Moonlight Mile

Just to find Proof in your smile

I gave you everything, I was full of joy

Even forgave you for playing Bubble Boy

I guess I just don’t understand…I thought you were Spiderman

 

I know I’ll be sad

Thinking back on the good times we’ve had

But I know The Day After Tomorrow

My heart will no longer be filled with sorrow

So for now it’s time to make my bed

Besides, you were just a silly Jarhead

You were my Prince of Persia

As we sat under an October Sky

I was the Good Girl who walked a Moonlight Mile

Just to find Proof in your smile

I gave you everything, I was full of joy

Even forgave you for playing Bubble Boy

I guess I just don’t understand…I thought you were Spiderman

 

Forgetful Me

20 Dec

It seems as if I have been forgetting many different things lately, including, but not limited to, posting on my blog. I am fully aware that my last blog post was almost 1 month ago, but fear not because I am back and, well, better then ever! Or so I’d like to think at least. Being at the ripe age of 20, it’s hard to think of an adequate reason why my memory, for the little things in life, has become the twin cousin of oatmeal–mush. Just last night I forgot my bag–complete with wallet, id, money, credit cards, sunglasses–at my friends house. So when I stopped at a 711 on the way home, I was SOL (shit outta luck). I then turned right back around to retrieve my bag, subsequently getting home at 2 in the morning. Today, I left something at my dad’s house that he specifically reminded me to take with me upon leaving. Some 30 minutes later I returned to his house to retrieve the item I left behind. To add to these small situations, I constantly forget to go to the bathroom. I know, how silly of me, right? And to answer your question NO, this does not mean I often have accidents and pee in my pants–it’s exactly what it sounds like…I simply forget to go. I guarantee it happens to everyone, so just think about it: have you ever been out to dinner with friends when you are suddenly stricken with the feeling of that overactive bladder commercial? You know, the one with the catchy “gotta go gotta go gotta go right now” jingle, but just feel too engaged in the current conversation to get up to answer nature’s call? Well, I bet after a while that “where’s the nearest ditch, I gotta go!” feeling is long gone and you hop in your car after dinner and head home. THAT, ladies and gents, is what I mean when I say “forget to go to the bathroom.” I am always distracted by various activities when I am stricken with “that” feeling, and once I am finished playing tether ball or taking a test, the feeling has disappeared. As a matter of fact, it isn’t until I’m stuck in traffic on the freeway 2 hours later that I think “SHIT. I forgot to go again!”

 

If this hasn’t happened to you, then I guess I’m alone…but c’mon. You KNOW it has! Like, how about when you’re on a plane and sitting in the window seat of a full flight and the two passengers standing in your way of the lavatory are snoozing with eye-masks on, so you decide to hold it in and so you go onto other activities such as coloring or listening to The Beach Boys’ Greatest Hits and by the time you get off of the plane you just want to get your luggage and get to your destination and then sit down and write a terribly long run-on sentence until you realize you have to…pee.

Lost Angeles

19 Nov

As my time in Los Angeles is rapidly coming to an end, I decided to recap some of the best and worst moments I’ve had while being here. It will tae me a while to compile everything into one, solid post, but it will happen eventually. So, stay tuned for some fun, sad, funny, unfortunate, fortunate and all other kinds of stories about my semester in Los Angeles. It’ll be worth your while.

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