Trenta

Today I am embarking on a rigorous journey. A journey that not many people are brave enough to partake in. For today I will travel to the depths of the earth–the concourse level Starbucks at 30 Rock–to fetch myself the most desired object in the world today. What’s being referred to as the holy grail of coffee-store-chain-cups–the Trenta.

I stuck with my usual–black iced tea with four Sweet & Lows–but this time had it served in a Trenta, not some puny Venti.

Side note, why does Starbucks have to try and be all Italian all the time? Grande, Venti, Trenta…your true colors shine through with Tall. Seriously guys, you started in Seattle. Not even Little Italy in New York or California and most definitely not the real Italy, who you tryna kid?

Anyways, I started sippin’ my Trenta around 10:45AM and I suspect to have my first bathroom break around 11:30 and then one every hour for 5 hours straight after that. I may or may not keep you posted. We’ll see.

UPDATE: First bathroom break at 11:50AM

An Awkward Shituation

And my life is back in the shitter…literally. So, I was in the bathroom this evening, brushing my teeth and preparing for bed, when I felt the need to go to the bathroom, so I found an acceptable stall, and took my place. I was the only one in the bathroom–and then the door opened. This would be totally ok, if I wasn’t me, but obviously I am me, so there was no controlling the situation that was about to ensure. I have a shy bladder, and can only pee if others aren’t around/can hear me do so. I don’t know where this shyness came from, because personally I’m not a shy person, but I guess that trait just didn’t migrate down to my bladder. Anyways, the girl walked in and took a spot in the stall directly next to me as I sat there, in the silence, holding it in. I waited for her to go, as once she flushed it would be noisy enough for me to relieve my bladder, but she just sat there…legit. I heard nothing for a good 2 minutes, and so I started to sweat, I was getting nervous. Finally, a sign of life–the sound of liquid hitting liquid! She was peeing! It would all be over soon and I could finally pee, right? Wrong. Obviously this story is happening to me, so with my luck, this particular girl needed to not only empty her bladder, but she needed to move her bowels as well. So there I was, sitting in a bathroom stall, sweating, holding in the urge to pee, and listening to the subtle sounds of plop plop the musical going on in the stall next to me. Just when I thought it was over, girl number 3 walks in and gets into the 3rd and final stall–seriously, just FML at this point. I decided I could no longer take it so I flushed the toilet (for no reason) ran to the sink, washed my hands, and ran into the hallway to dive into one of the “Gender Neutral” bathrooms that only had one stall–privacy. Finally I was able to empty my bladder in peace, only after turning the water on, of course, just incase anyone passing by had good hearing!