Tag Archives: Opinion

What I Thought of Miley Cyrus’ 2013 VMAs Performance–It All Twerked Out!

26 Aug
via Billboard.com

via Billboard.com

For those of you that know me personally, you know that I’m a huge Miley Cyrus fan. More so than any 23 year old should be, and I have absolutely no shame about that. Maybe that’s why I’m about to say what I’m about to say, but screw it–I’m just being Allie.

I had the privilege of being in attendance last night at the Barclays Center where, above all else, Miley twerked on Robin Thicke and NSYNC got back together, for a little over a minute. While all the performances individually can probably inspire lengthy, analytic blog posts, the one truly worth talking about, and on everyone’s mind, is Miley’s. Don’t agree with me? Well, clearly a handful of people do considering her name was mentioned 4.5 MILLION times via social media last night. Four. Point. Five. MILLION. That’s A LOT of teddy bears. And trust me, being there to see the performance in person was just as exhausting, insane and fun as one may imagine. But I didn’t even cringe once–and here’s why…

Miley’s performance was truly a clusterf**k of bears, latex, bears, a foam finger, twerking, butts and sex. Sex sex sex. All the sex. And she brought Robin Thicke out, who sings the sex anthem of the summer, “Blurred Lines,” to sex some more. There was grinding there was twerking there was big-booty-slapping and there were horrified tweens and moms failing to cover eyes in the audience. It was the twerk-wreck of the night and no one could look away. NO ONE. Why? Well, everyone loves to see a star descend which is what tons of people think is happening but is that really what it is? Is Miley truly about to combust and land herself in treatment of some kind? Yes, she’s admitted to smoking marijuana but so have several of my friends and none of them need to seek help of the therapeutic kind. She’s not addicted to marijuana or molly or alcohol. She’s not hurting herself. She’s not going psycho a-la Amanda Bynes. All the girl wants to do is twerk. So if there’s a clinic tucked away in the hills of Malibu that specializes in teddy bears ‘n’ twerks, sign her up, but other than that, she’s just being Miley. She cut her hair, she didn’t shave her head. She’s been in the studio and out there promoting her new single and album. She’s working and hustling, but in her own special way.

She’s coming into her own. Another Disney star gone raw and a bit off the rails but she hasn’t done anything wrong. Shock and offend? Sure, but that’s incredibly easy to do. Heck, I throw on a bathing suit and stroll around the beaches of Southampton and do just that. This is why “Blurred Lines” was the perfect song for Miley to sing along with Mr. Thicke. You see, she was a good girl, she can’t be domesticated (which, mind you, is exactly what she was trying to tell EVERYONE with her single “Can’t Be Tamed” back when she had all of her hair), but she just wants to start that endless journey to find out what exactly rhymes with “hug me.” Honestly, the worst thing about Miley’s performance was Robin’s suit but “hey hey hey,” she most likely had no control over that–or at least as much as she did over her butt-cheeks flopping out of her latex a little bit. That last part was unfortunate, actually. But these things happen! At least it wasn’t a boob.

Her performance was SMART. SMART SMART SMART. Why? Because this was the 30th anniversary of the VMAs, and while not exactly known for its prominence in the musical world–which is fine because it focuses on the music video aspect of the song, not the song itself which is proper considering MTV’s roots grew from music videos–it has been known for some of the most outrageous award show moments. It’s been a while since the VMAs were the canvas for something truly unbelievable, vulgar and borderline Cinemax, and Miley knew this was her time to shine. Her time to step in and say “I’ll raise your Britney Spears skin-toned, bejeweled body suit and give you a skin-toned rubber glove, high-waisted bikini.” She WENT for it. She WANTED to be talked about and get coverage on every major news outlet AND SHE DID. And the fact that she was able to win the night–socially, at least–for a performance at the same awards show where MOTHER EFFIN *NSYNC REUNITED is truly unbelievable and just goes to show that not only can she not stop but she can’t BE stopped. Miley knew what she was about to do and she blew everyone out of the water–and their comfort zone. She took two of the biggest songs of this summer and combined them into one, over-the-top and sexually confused performance. It was brilliant.

via Twitter

via Twitter

So, while you’re sitting there with your judgement face on wearing your judgement panties, Miley Cyrus is laughing all the way to, well, I’m not exactly sure, but probably somewhere that sells both foam fingers and teddy bears. Maybe “take your child to the game” day at a local sports venue. I don’t know. What I DO know is that even if you had to turn your television off or switch over to Breaking Bad for the six-or-so minutes Miley graced the Barclays Center stage, you definitely tuned in today to one of the various news outlets that covered the story for hours upon end. Analyzing each move, talking about her mother and father’s reactions, and the Smith family’s as well. You wanted to avoid it, you wanted to say “that was horrific and disgusting and I refuse to watch it” but right now you’re thinking, what the hell happened? And searching for it on the interwebs. So, let me save you some trouble because you can find the video RIGHT HERE on CNN’s website. Yes, CNN. Who also dedicated an entire section to her performance on their homepage today, the day after the VMAs aired.

via CNN.com

via CNN.com

Overall, her performance WAS ridiculous and insane and outrageous and shocking but it will be talked about for years and because of that, when Miley’s new album drops on October 8th, it’s going to receive all the more attention. As absurd as the performance was, it twerked.

I’m just gonna go ahead and say it–Miley’s 2013 VMA performance is the new “Britney/Madonna Kiss.”

*Please note all of the above is my opinion.*

(Where’s the)Spirit Air

27 Dec

Being an opinionated person, I have decided that every time I realize I hate something, I am going to award it the title of “The Worst_____.” This can mean anything from the worst restaurant to the worst brand of sneakers. Today, I am going to share with you an experience that resulted in me discovering THE WORST airline. Please remember this is all my opinion, but trust me, this airline SUCKS!

SPIRIT AIRLINES: I remember a few years back there was an airline by the name of Trans World Airlines, TWA for short. It was a running joke that the TWA  really stood for “The Worst Airline” which is probably a contributing factor to them closing their flight decks one last time and going out of business. I assumed they went bankrupt or something along the lines of that, but in actuality, it was because they could no longer compete with the new sheriff of shitty airlines in town—Spirit Airlines.

I had neither flown nor heard of Spirit before this year when my mom booked us on a flight down to Florida. For a flight the day after Christmas, all airlines wanted an arm and a leg, so my mom chose the cheaper Spirit Airlines, which only asked for some money…and my dignity.

I was skeptical about the airline from the very start. Yes, the roundtrip flights for the two of us came out to about $400 less overall than other airlines, but then they got us with all of their unnecessary fees. First let me say that (the) Spirit (of Halloween) Airlines prides themselves to be an airline in which you only have to pay for the amenities that you want. This sounded quite auspicious to me as I thought we’d be able to choose if we wanted to pay for a movie, upgraded meals or more leg room. Instead, the amenities they were referring to ended up being standard procedures/complimentary on every single other airline. You see, according to them, these amenities are: checking baggage, carrying on anything more than just one personal item, bigger seats and drinks…EVEN BOTTLED WATER. My mom got a hot tea…that’s hot water, a tea bag and a packet of Splenda= *$2. God forbid she wanted fresh lemon, that probably would have cost her an extra buck fifty, but luckily she carries around her own packets of lemon juice in her purse…perfectly normal. As I was saying, to check a bag-$26, to have a carry-on aside from ONE personal item-$30, sodas-$3, for a bigger seat-$75. The BEST part is that you have to pay for the flight and THEN you have to pay for a seat! I asked if you could just pay for the flight and stand the entire time, but of course this would be dangerous and against the law so the answer was “no.” Thus, in what world does that policy make any sense? Maybe Nebula or the Starship Enterprise, but definitely not America…probably not even Abu Dhabi.

Then we got on the plane. Leather seats…stained and most likely unsanitary. There was a black, oily looking substance lining the top of my headrest which I forced myself to ignore, and there wasn’t even enough room in front of the seats to fit a laptop. No televisions in headrests or suspended from the ceiling, aisles so thin even the Olsen twins would have to turn sideways to walk down them. It sucked…just shitty.

To give you an idea of just how awful this airline is, here’s a personal anecdote that unfolded just this morning. As you may or may not know, New York (my place of origin) is expected to get several inches of snow yesterday beginning in the early morning or afternoon. So naturally, in NY style, everyone rushed to change their flights to the earliest available which means overcrowding and overbooking which Spirit is first-rate at! It ended up that Spirit needed to make room for two customers, so they asked for two volunteers to give up their seats and in exchange for their kindness, they would receive $400 CASH each, 2 round trip tickets to ANYWHERE Spirit flies and a guaranteed seat on the next flight to Florida. They found their volunteers but once we were on the plane they had a late-comer who needed to make a cruise so she HAD to get on our flight. He offered the SAME deal to us, needing only one customer this time. No one raised their hands. Then he told us he’d be able to get that person on the next JetBlue flight out to Florida—at least 10 people raised their hand this time. Spirit Airlines is, and always should be, a last resort. Unless of course all the other airlines want $1,000 each way and Spirit is offering $5 flights. Otherwise, under no circumstance should you fly Spirit Airlines. What a displeasure.

My question is, where do they get off charging someone for a cup of luke warm water the size of a baby’s fist? Every single other airline, whether they charge for baggage or not, is kind enough to give out complimentary beverages other than alcohol. JetBlue even gives out snacks—GREAT snacks! Spirit was charging $4 for a bag of Combos. I’m truly surprised there wasn’t a coin slot next to the air vents above our seats. Same goes for a coin slot outside the bathroom…but then my mom told me that would be illegal.

* Of course this fee was not paid for because my mother complained the water wasn’t hot enough, so we just paid the $3 for my can of Coke Zero instead.

Great On Paper, Awful In Person

22 Jun

Writers. Some go above and beyond and some fall flat on their literary faces. Some writers have the luck of being very talented and professional writers, as well as very talented and professional people. Their writing is impeccable, smart, funny, entertaining–anything but flat and boring–and they have the personality to match. Their charisma is contagious and infectious, you just want to be around them, constantly, and hope they will some day include you in one of their blog posts, novels or screenplays.

But, this is the real world, and unfortunately not all writers can be as great in person as they are on paper. As a matter of fact, some people are writers because their personalities suck, they’re socially awkward, and can only express themselves through the written, or typed, word. I happen to know a few people like this, and it happens to be quite comical…and downright annoying. I’m not saying that I’m perfect on page and in person, but I happen to be just as fun in person as I am on paper. “But Ditk, you can’t judge how you are in person because you ARE you! Of course you’re going to say you have a great personality and can write very well!” (this wasn’t an actual quote, this was just me reading your mind…scary, I know) The truth is I can’t read my personality, but I can read my writing, and so can all of my family and peers. The people who have read my writing have told me on countless occasions that I write the way I speak, meaning when they are reading something that I have written, they can picture me speaking those exact words and can actually hear me reading the paper in their head. This is clear cut evidence that my personality matches my writing skills. My opinion, reviews and stories that I write are ones that I often share verbally in person, and when I write, I basically just have a conversation in my head and then transcribe it onto the page in front of me. Those who excell on paper and fail in person have a technical error somewhere that allows them to express themselves well on the path from brain to page, but not brain to mouth.

Basically, if you’re confused, all I am saying is that if you’re a great writer, you might want to work on your personal skills as well. Why do I suggest this? Well, let’s say your latest novel gets published and they want you to do a 25 city book tour/signing. Your book could be the next Harry Potter, but if you can’t engage in normal conversation, people are going to get turned off when they meet you, and then they will tell their mother who will tell your aunt who will tell your cousin who will tell her boss who will tell his wife that you suck, and thus creates a vicious cycle of negative feedback that could eventually lead to a decrease in sales and a one way ticket to being sold exclusively at Home Goods.

Final word: Exercise the same amount of personality and spunk in person that you do in your writing. Not only will you have a greater chance at becoming successful, but you’ll make more friends and sound a lot smarter too.

I’m actually probably really awkward…oops.

Ditk

Now Let Me Clear My Throat

27 Oct

Hello Additks, I hope today is one of greatness for all of you wonderful people. It seems as if you have once again stumbled upon my blog, or were simply googling “A Disk” or pictures of male genitalia, but either way, fate has brought you to the mecca of words; the mecca of stories; and the epicenter of cool. Yes, that’s right, if The Life of A Ditk was a person, she would be sitting at the popular table in the lunch room, trading her tuna sandwich for only the best snacks–like Goldfish. Anyways, I won’t keep you waiting for the climax, so here ya go. Today, I am going to be ranting about anger. Doesn’t that seem a little of–to rant about anger? Regardless, when have I ever been on, per say? So here I go.

If you consider yourself to be an angry person, you should probably come to some kind of agreement with yourself to find a happy place, somewhere within, to visit every time you feel your fist about to plunge through 5 layers of plaster and sheet rock. Think of it as what Billy Madison does; his happy place is a place full of beer, women, his grandmother smiling, and of course Chubs. When you’re angry, think WWBD? and be like Billy.

Second, if what I just suggested does not work for you, just try and figure out what sets you off every time you launch into outer space. You’ll save a lot of fuel, and by fuel I mean energy, if you identify the problem that always upsets/angers you sooner than later to avoid awkward situations in which you find yourself flipping out in front of friends and/or family, because then you’ll just have to apologize anyways, and let’s face it, no one actually likes to apologize.

If you find yourself getting angry and raising havoc more than once a week or a few times every month, you have an issue, and it is obvious to your peers, so why not make it obvious to yourself? Admit you have a problem, because admitting it is the first step toward success! And everybody likes being successful! S-U-C-C-E-S-S, let’s all cheer about SUCCESS! Feel free to use that as a little tool to remind you of what life could be like if you seek help when you ADMIT you have an anger problem.

Unfortunately, many people who are angry, also tend to be quite stubborn. This is far from a cheeseburger and fries in the sense that it is definitely not a good combination. Being angry and knocking over a few flower plants is one thing, but being angry and refusing the clean up the mess you left from said knocked over flower plants because you claim it is not your fault they’re on the floor is a whole different ball game. Always take responsibility for your actions, even if you don’t believe any of them were your fault, because if there are more than 2 people blaming it on you, most likely you blacked out from anger and just don’t remember your actions, but maybe your friends witnessed the entire event.

Sometimes anger is good. Sometimes anger motivates people to have positive outcomes or plan life-changing events that better their community or those around them, but usually anger just points fingers and doesn’t listen to what others have to say, making anger very one-sided. Take apart your anger, study your anger, find its weakness and then kick anger while it’s down. Just whatever you do, make sure you don’t drag others into your own anger, because then that creates somewhat uncomfortable situations, and could quite possibly make others not want to be around you often out of the fear that you’ll jump down their throat again for no reason other than you being angry at the world.

So, what’s my point? Well, friends can only do so much, same with therapists and counseling services, so in the end it’s only YOU that can prevent forest fires, I mean internal/external anger. Do yourself a favor, and seek outside help if anger often occurs in your life. Though it may not be a one-stop-shop to cure it all, it will help you better express yourself and feelings in times of anger, and make it so that you won’t scare friends and loved ones away, which may or may not leave you alone in the end, which could make you sad and lonely in the end, which could turn into self-hate and anger, and then you realize everything has come full-circle and you’ve wasted your life. Moral of my post–don’t be angry…find the good in your life, embrace it, and build upon it until you’ve built walls so high that anger has no way of getting in. Just make sure you use bricks, because as we have all learned from the tale of The Three Little Pigs, straw and sticks do not hold up during violent wind storms. In this case, you are the house, and anger is the wind–think about it, I promise it makes sense…somehow. Basically, it’s best to just listen to the fancy Tupperware and just don’t get mad, get glad!


Well, this has been another rant by A Ditk, I hope it helps at least one person, if not everyone! Like the talking fish sings: “Don’t worry, be happy”!

 

Fat Wallets or Fat People?

4 Aug

Burgaaa     While waiting online at a fast-food establishment in Penn Station today, I came across an extra set of numbers placed next to food items on the big, light-up menu. After immediately realizing they weren’t prices, it became apparent that they were the amount of calories that the respective item contained. This got me thinking–if we want people to go out, and spend more money, restaurants, especially fast-food chains, are a very easy and inexpensive way for them to do so, but seeing the amount of calories that I was about to consume, right before my eyes, kind of made me want to run straight for the nearest bathroom stall and regurgitate what hadn’t even grazed my lips yet! And so my question is this: Which problem should be America’s top priority?–Fighting the ever-growing obesity epidemic, or fixing our flaccid economy? I may not know the correct answer, because this is definitely a question that can only be answered using strong opinions, and endless statistics that will make you just want to give up on America and move to Canada…they have great maple syrup and a lower drinking age! But, the last thing I want is for any of my lovely blog readers to cross the border into “Aboot” territory, so I’m just going to give you my opinion lightly, of course.

     Back in the day, like way back, but after dinosaurs, being overweight was a sign of being wealthy, showing that you could afford to feed yourself until fully satisfied. Now-a-days, being fat makes you look like a slob–boy oh boy have times changed! I believe a thinner America is definitely in order, especially since new ballparks, such as Citi Field, have installed wider seats, with more leg room between each row, for added “comfort”, which is just a nicer way of saying “we expanded seat size and leg room to accommodate to the fattening America”, but do we want to thin-up our fatties when we could end up turning our economy into a stick-thin runway model? In my opinion, I think these two battles can be fought simultaneously, but that the obesity epidemic is more contagious, and can lead to death and disease, when the poor economy will just lead to the loss of a job, or maybe even a home. Now, I’m not putting down losing a job or home as insignificant, but I’m basically just saying that dying is definitely worse than losing your job…seriously. By listing calorie counts on menus in restaurants across America, Americans are becoming aware of what they’re shoving into their mouths on a daily basis, but this may gross people out, as it did to me, and send them running for their cars, and back to their homes for a home-cooked meal, thus slowly killing the restaurant business, while slowly saving themselves. An upside would be that grocery stores would increase business because of the increased demand for ingredients, but there’s revenue now from both restaurants AND grocery stores, and our economy is still in the shitter…so who’s to say that would even be enough?

     Also, if people keep dropping dead from being obese, or diseases that are acquired from said obesity, then there won’t be as many people around to stimulate the economy! Forget the restaurant business, ALL businesses would suffer from less people on planet earth…I wonder if Aliens are trim and slim?

     So, in conclusion, earthlings, the next time you hit up a restaurant and see that your favorite meal has 900-1200 calories in it, don’t cry hoping tear-loss will lead to loss of weight, and don’t run home, never to return–just opt for something with less calories! You’ll be saving yourself from exploding, and the economy from imploding. 


This has been A Ditk public service announcement…

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