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Some Grandmas Bake Cookies…

9 Jul

…my grandma drinks alcohol.

It was a night like any other. My grandma and I were relaxing while watching the Mets when she said

“if you hear a banging on the wall, please come into my room. I’m not feeling well tonight.”

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“My chest hurts…”

This worried me considering my grandmother has has bypass surgery in the past and our family has a history with bad heart health.

“…but I just think it’s indigestion.”

“Would it make you feel better if I slept in your room with you?”

Now, before you make fun, my grandmother has a ginormous king bed. Like, seriously. King Sleepy broke the mold when he made this puppy.

“If you wouldn’t mind.”

“Sure.”

I proceeded into my room to grab my pillows and cell phone charger and got comfortable in my grandma’s room. About a half hour or so went by.

“So how are you feeling now?”

“Okay. Maybe I’ll feel better after a drink.”

One thing about my grandma is that she has at least one glass of red wine a day. If not two…or three. Often her one glass will be by her bedside as she goes to bed. Sometimes it will be at dinner, or while watching television. Regardless of where she sips it, it’s a daily tradition for her. My mom loves wine too. And so do her sisters. At any given time my mother has 20 bottles of wine on hand in our household. Mom, if you’re reading this, don’t text me and tell me I’m lying because I’ve counted.

Back to the story: I heard some putzing around in the kitchen so naturally I went to sneak a peak. The ice cream was out. And so was the liquor. I knew this could only mean one thing: chocolate martinis.

Mind you the time was now 12:30AM.

She scooped vanilla ice cream into a blender. Added portions of cream de cacao, Godiva chocolate liquor, vodka and ice. Blended that baby into oblivion and reached for the cabinet where she keeps her glasses. She pulled out a martini glass. Now, my grandma is a DRINKER, so she doesn’t have you typical restaurant sized martini glasses…she has double martini glasses. Meaning, you could take two, possibly 3, martinis you order in a restaurant and pour them into this sucker. It. Was. HUGE. Naturally, she filled it to the brim. She got back into bed and within 30 minutes it was gone.

“I’m feeling better now. You can sleep in your own room.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes…I think I’m going to become an alcoholic.”

And with that, I went to bed.

Personally when I make chocolate martinis I make them with vanilla vodka, but my grandma’s recipe is delicious. Just incase you’d like to serve up a summer treat, these martinis truly are sweet, tasty and refreshing:

Chocolate DitkTini:

Makes 2 (non-grandma sized) servings:

1oz Godiva Liquor

1oz Cream de cocoa

1oz Vanilla Vodka

1-2 scoops of chocolate or vanilla ice cream–your choice!

Pour the ingredients into a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake, strain and pour into two glasses.

To make the drink frothier and frozen: pour ingredients into a blender with ice, blend and pour straight, no strain.

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So this is new…

16 Nov

If you haven’t been able to tell, my blog posts have been few and far between as of late, so I’ve decided to resort to desperate measures. For those of you who know me personally, you know that I am a certified mixologist (whatever the hell that means) a.k.a a bartender. I have decided that in my time of need for material to place on this site that I will post some cocktail recipes every now and again just to stir the pot–spruce things up and make sure that everybody (21+) in the club is gettin’ tipsy every now and then–in moderation please drink responsibly yada yada ding dong.

So with that lackluster introduction, I bring you drink numero one…

DRUMROLL please….

DRINK #1: The Gummy Bear Martini

This one is for all ya’ll kids out there…and by kids I obviously mean those of you who are 21+ with a mighty sweet tooth and hate the taste of alcohol.

What do you need?

Citrus vodka (Absolut Citron works)

Peach Schnapps

Cranberry juice (the good stuff with all the sugar, not the straight up stuff that cures UTIs)

Gummy Bears (they’re so cute)

Now, I’m not good at measurements, so this recipe is for only one drink. If you plan on making a big ol’ batch, just convert some numbers and, well, I’ll leave that up to you!

Take your shaker and plop some ice in there. Pour in 1oz of citrus vodka and 1oz of the peach schnapps. Pour in just a dash of cranberry juice, close the shaker and shake, shake, shake. Strain and pour into a chilled martini glass, garnish with a few friendly, yet soon to be very drunk, gummy bears.

And there you have it! The Gummy Bear Martini. Soon to be a favorite! Trust me, just try it.

If you’re a big fan of gummy bears and alcohol, there’s still more you can do! Simply take a big ol’ batch of your favorite brand of bears, throw ’em in a bowl and douse them with enough rum to rise just below the surface of the bears. Stick the bowl in the fridge and let it sit overnight and BAM–“rummy bears.” Those suckers get mighty big overnight–I’m talking Honey I Shrunk Your Kids big…so obviously the bears would be playing the parents. Anyways, strain the bears of any excess rum, place them into a new bowl, or the old one if you’re into that save the planet stuff, and enjoy! No need to get fancy, hands will do, but sometimes toothpicks are fun…just don’t hurt the bears.

I wonder if gummy bears are mean drunks?

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