It has come to my attention, via Twitter, that the puppy of pop, Justin Bieber, will be in New York City tomorrow to promote his new perfume ‘Someday.’ He will be on hand at MACY’S in Herald Square for the release. Now, for those of you who don’t know, MACY’S is basically across the street from Penn Station where thousands, probably millions, of travelers rush in and out to get to their desired destinations. Seeing as Justin Bieber caused a riot and basically shut down a Long Island mall last year for an appearance, I think it’s safe to say that even the enormous, full city-avenue size of MACY’S Herald Square doesn’t have a capacity large enough for the Beliebers.
What does this all mean? Basically, commuting will be absolute HELL tomorrow. Sure if you like walking into your office covered in glitter from bumping into the handmade sign of a 13 year old girl on the subway, then your day will be fabulous! But for most, your day will begin with a crowded, boisterous, shrieking commute–and for once that high pitched sound you hear on the subway won’t be from the rust on rust, metal on metal, train/rail contact.
Judging by the title, I’m sure ya’ll think I’m going to spill some horrific news like another celebrity death, or that I broke my finger and cannot blog for a while, but, what I am about to blog about isn’t that bad–just entertaining–as all of my days are.
So, today I had work at the bar, much like any other day, except today, I decided to stay in bed a little later, and take the train that gets me into the city 2 minutes late, instead of 40 minutes early. I have always believed in karma, but I didn’t think 2 minutes would do much of anything, especially considering the bar is dead when I first arrive to work everyday. Anyways, all was well–I was serving food, drinks, taking orders, cleaning some tables–my normal routine, and then it was time to cut some fruit for drink garnishes. Cutting fruit is probably one of my favorite parts about working at the bar–except for getting paid in cash and actually mixing the drinks–so I’m always happy to do it. It started off well, I cut up about 8 limes, and then I got to the lemons…fucking lemons…I guess there was some moisture so the knife slipped and there went the skin on my left index finger…hooray for blood loss! So I went over to the bartender, whom goes by the name of “Juicy”, and asked if there was a band aid, she checked the first-aid kit, and there were none–great. So I wrapped a few napkins around my gushing finger-tip, and continued cutting lemons, then oranges, and serving customers. About 3 hours, and numerous napkins later I was able to obtain a band aid.
Shortly after, a large party came into the restaurant area, all of them were spanish-speaking, and spoke poor, broken english. They all wanted separate checks…I can’t even continue that story because my head just started spinning…again.
Finally, when I got off of work, an hour late, I called my mom to notify her of my whereabouts, when I realized she didn’t sound too happy. She then proceeded to tell me that she had just gotten into a car accident, and didn’t feel like talking, but would call me later. She assured me that she was ok, but her car was not. Now, to normal people, this is sad, and completely not humorous, but in this situation, it’s totally hilarious, because of what my mom told me when she called back an hour or so later. My mom told me that a deer hit her car, and then ran away. Yes, my mother was the victim of a hit and run accident…with a deer. She said it was “raining buckets”, and she was driving to dinner when all of a sudden, WHAM! something hit into her car…and it was a deer. She said there’s at least $1000 worth of damage to her car, and she can’t sue the deer. I found the comment to be quite interesting, I hope you did as well.
Until next time, which will probably be tomorrow, because everyday is a weird day when you’re livin’ the life of A Ditk.