Hate Is A Strong Word

There are tons of people in this world that I dislike, no doubt, but there are very few that I truly, TRULY hate. This past week has separated the two for me and those who I hate have risen to the top in a major way. Stupidity is something I absolutely cannot stand. That’s not to say I’m not stupid every now and again, but I’m talking about people with a constant disregard for their brain. Specifically people who have no idea what it means to take responsibility for their own actions.

If you get drunk and pass out–your fault. You chose to drink. You can say all you want that someone else “made you do it” but unless they tied you up and forced it down your throat, it was ultimately YOUR decision to do so. If you have a medical condition or are taking a medication that does not mix well with alcohol or other drugs, it is YOUR responsibility to know that and NOT to mix it with your current condition. You obviously know you have the condition when you go around telling everyone about it so don’t you dare try and make it seem like this was something that just happens. Also, if you drink to the point of unconsciousness and your eyes are rolling back, don’t expect people to just stand there and watch until you fall over and crack your head open. Just because you suck doesn’t mean people around you suck as well. So clearly if a bystander believes medical professionals need to step in then they, the people who are stone-cold sober and completely capable of making a decision, have the right to call 911. You should THANK them for doing so. Even if you got into trouble because, once again, YOU made the decision to drink underage to the point where you fall into and lie down in the middle of the street. Regardless, it happened. Had you not gone to the hospital, what would have happened? No one knows for sure but what COULD have happened was death or an alcohol induced coma. And that would have been a whole hell of a lot worse than getting written up by the University. So quit playing victim and start realizing that you have a laundry list of people to thank instead of trying to get those who helped you out into trouble.

 

Then there’s the type of person who decides to stand around and do nothing. Oh, I’m sorry, by “do nothing” I mean “stand there and yell at a drunk person, slapping them across the face, because they drank so much with an absolute disregard for the fact that the person you are yelling at is currently incapable at responding and receiving your message.” Way to kick a girl while she’s down. Then you’re going to talk back to police officers? Girl, you’re stupid.

 

That’s the kind of stupid I’m talking about.

If you haven’t figured it out by now, something did happen that triggered this and it’s just ridiculous. Be responsible for yourself because it sucks when other people have to step up and be responsible for you.

 

 

Some Grandmas Bake Cookies…

…my grandma drinks alcohol.

It was a night like any other. My grandma and I were relaxing while watching the Mets when she said

“if you hear a banging on the wall, please come into my room. I’m not feeling well tonight.”

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“My chest hurts…”

This worried me considering my grandmother has has bypass surgery in the past and our family has a history with bad heart health.

“…but I just think it’s indigestion.”

“Would it make you feel better if I slept in your room with you?”

Now, before you make fun, my grandmother has a ginormous king bed. Like, seriously. King Sleepy broke the mold when he made this puppy.

“If you wouldn’t mind.”

“Sure.”

I proceeded into my room to grab my pillows and cell phone charger and got comfortable in my grandma’s room. About a half hour or so went by.

“So how are you feeling now?”

“Okay. Maybe I’ll feel better after a drink.”

One thing about my grandma is that she has at least one glass of red wine a day. If not two…or three. Often her one glass will be by her bedside as she goes to bed. Sometimes it will be at dinner, or while watching television. Regardless of where she sips it, it’s a daily tradition for her. My mom loves wine too. And so do her sisters. At any given time my mother has 20 bottles of wine on hand in our household. Mom, if you’re reading this, don’t text me and tell me I’m lying because I’ve counted.

Back to the story: I heard some putzing around in the kitchen so naturally I went to sneak a peak. The ice cream was out. And so was the liquor. I knew this could only mean one thing: chocolate martinis.

Mind you the time was now 12:30AM.

She scooped vanilla ice cream into a blender. Added portions of cream de cacao, Godiva chocolate liquor, vodka and ice. Blended that baby into oblivion and reached for the cabinet where she keeps her glasses. She pulled out a martini glass. Now, my grandma is a DRINKER, so she doesn’t have you typical restaurant sized martini glasses…she has double martini glasses. Meaning, you could take two, possibly 3, martinis you order in a restaurant and pour them into this sucker. It. Was. HUGE. Naturally, she filled it to the brim. She got back into bed and within 30 minutes it was gone.

“I’m feeling better now. You can sleep in your own room.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes…I think I’m going to become an alcoholic.”

And with that, I went to bed.

Personally when I make chocolate martinis I make them with vanilla vodka, but my grandma’s recipe is delicious. Just incase you’d like to serve up a summer treat, these martinis truly are sweet, tasty and refreshing:

Chocolate DitkTini:

Makes 2 (non-grandma sized) servings:

1oz Godiva Liquor

1oz Cream de cocoa

1oz Vanilla Vodka

1-2 scoops of chocolate or vanilla ice cream–your choice!

Pour the ingredients into a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake, strain and pour into two glasses.

To make the drink frothier and frozen: pour ingredients into a blender with ice, blend and pour straight, no strain.

College Freshmen…dry your worried tears, A Ditk is here!

     So for all ya’ll about to endeavor on your greatest journey yet, here are a few things to keep in mind to make your first year the best yet! Oh, by the way, I’m talking about entering college…here we go.

1. Wear flip flops in the showers-you’d be surprised what’s lurking beneath the surface of those tiles, and trust me, it’s nothing your bare-feet, or you for that matter, would want to come into contact with! Try Havianna flip flops, they’re super comfortable, and inexpensive…sort of.
2. Stay away from vending machines– their glowing light and colorful assortment of snacks may attract you like a fly to a fruit bowl in the late hours of weekend nights, but trust me, what may seem like a harmless bag of chips will truly turn into a nice set of love handles…that no one wants to love…trust me, I learned first hand!
3. Boots with traction on the bottom!!!!!(for cold weather schools)- trust me, UGG boots are great–warm, stylish, comfortable–but when it comes to scurrying to class on a cold, snowy winter’s day, the only thing you’re going to look is foolish when you slip on the quad provoking a series of FRESHMAN, FRESHMAN, FRESHMAN chants from upperclassmen. Trust me, even if they don’t make you look like Heidi Klum, buy snow boots with traction…they will save your life…from death AND embarrassment. Try North Face boots, they have some nice styles with slip-proof bottoms, I have yet to slip in mine…although I probably just jinxed it so I’m sure I will this year.
4. Bring pictures!– worried about who your roommate will be? Scared they may be “cooler” than you? Well that’s nothing a shit-ton of pictures can’t fix! Go to CVS, slip in your memory card, or a picture disc, and print away! When you get to your dorm, decorate your walls with them, slip some into picture frames, go crazy. Your roommate will see how many friends you had at home and she will instantly know you’re not a loser and had a life back at home…unless she reads this blog too, then you might be screwed…in which case they still make great decorations!
5. *****DON’T BE NERVOUS*****– I cannot stress this enough! I admit, going into my first year I was nervous, just a little bit, but as soon as I arrived, I felt comfortable as can be! Don’t worry about making friends, it comes naturally in college. Start out by mingling with the people on your floor, talk to them, get their numbers, etc. Then, tell them when you hear about a party, ask them to tag along with you to meals or the bookstore to pick up some books, do this, and you’ll be making friends in no time! Also, don’t be afraid to sit next to a stranger in class, they may become one of your best friends!
6. Set aside study/personal time-So we’ve all been there–the first year of college where all you want to do is party, party, party and get shit-faced every night until you realize your a freshman again next year, well…bad idea. I’m not saying don’t party, because it’s definitely great, but I guess what I’m trying to say is that staying in one night over the weekend wouldn’t kill you, at least it’s safer than chugging a bottle of Cuervo. Set aside some time to yourself, and your studies. I’m not saying spend every waking hour studying and writing papers, but if you set aside time maybe 2-3 times a week for a few hours, once midterms and finals come around, you’ll be a lot less stressed, trust me, time management is KEY in college. You’ll thank me later, no need to do so now.
7.  Be yourself- everyone in college will see right through your exterior cover-up if you’re not yourself, if not right away, they definitely will later on once they get to know you and realize they DON’T know you at all. Don’t worry about showing off and being part of the popular crowd, this isn’t high school, there’s too many people for there to be just ONE particular popular crowd, trust me. Don’t worry about showing off, or talking about how much money your parents make, no one likes a show-off, it will just turn people away when you make them feel like crap because they can’t afford the newest Louis Vuitton bag or David Yurman ring. As my mother always says, “there’s an ass for every seat”, so you’ll find your crowd/group of friends, don’t try and push your way into uncomfortable situations, it will only lead to bad times and stress. Be yourself, there will be hundreds of kids in the same boat, you will find your way!
8. Don’t sleep around– I don’t think this even needs an explanation, but just incase you like pride yourself on taking a trip around the bases every night, I’ll say it once, and I’ll say it loud…COLLEGE HAS STDs! More so than high school did or does, so BE SMART! Don’t think you’re going to be the  new “cool” girl/guy on campus just because you’ve slept with someone in every frat/sorority on campus, because if you do, the only thing you’re going to be is the subject of a cruel posting on a college gossip website. I know some of you are stubborn in your decisions, but just don’t say A Ditk didn’t warn you! 
9. Greek Life– It may seem like it’s everywhere at your school, or it may not even exist, but present or not, you DON’T have to join a frat/sorority at your school, so do not feel pressured to do so! Joining one will however help you make friends and keep your social calendar chock full of events and activities, but that may not be for you. Going greek or not, you WILL make friends and you WILL have plenty of social events and activities at your finger tips. Joining greek life is not for everyone, but I do suggest looking into it, open-minded of course, if you’re the least bit interested, you may like what you see.
10. Alcohol– peanut butter & jelly, bagels and lox, college and beer/alcohol. Which combination is the most dangerous? Well, if you’re watching your weight, maybe the first two, but we’re not talking weight wise right now…though beer bellies are prevalent amongst freshman, ok now I’m getting off topic…alcoholic beverages will be all around you in college, and I just want to stress that it’s definitely ok to pass on drinking them. You won’t be deemed a loser, you won’t be frowned upon, you may actually be respected for your decision to resist the urge to drink and remain responsible. Always mix your own drinks, roofies are errrrwhere, and don’t be an idiot, if you’re on medication, don’t drink, you’ll end up sicker than a dog after ingesting a pint of ice cream. Whatever you choose to do when it comes to alcohol consumption in college, just know your limits, because there are only so many times you can “blame it on the Goose” and continue to get away with it.
11. DON’T WALK ALONE AT NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is all, don’t be scared, because with this list, you’ll be prepared! Hooray for cheesy rhymes!