For those of you that know me personally, you know that I’m a huge Miley Cyrus fan. More so than any 23 year old should be, and I have absolutely no shame about that. Maybe that’s why I’m about to say what I’m about to say, but screw it–I’m just being Allie.
I had the privilege of being in attendance last night at the Barclays Center where, above all else, Miley twerked on Robin Thicke and NSYNC got back together, for a little over a minute. While all the performances individually can probably inspire lengthy, analytic blog posts, the one truly worth talking about, and on everyone’s mind, is Miley’s. Don’t agree with me? Well, clearly a handful of people do considering her name was mentioned 4.5 MILLION times via social media last night. Four. Point. Five. MILLION. That’s A LOT of teddy bears. And trust me, being there to see the performance in person was just as exhausting, insane and fun as one may imagine. But I didn’t even cringe once–and here’s why…
Miley’s performance was truly a clusterf**k of bears, latex, bears, a foam finger, twerking, butts and sex. Sex sex sex. All the sex. And she brought Robin Thicke out, who sings the sex anthem of the summer, “Blurred Lines,” to sex some more. There was grinding there was twerking there was big-booty-slapping and there were horrified tweens and moms failing to cover eyes in the audience. It was the twerk-wreck of the night and no one could look away. NO ONE. Why? Well, everyone loves to see a star descend which is what tons of people think is happening but is that really what it is? Is Miley truly about to combust and land herself in treatment of some kind? Yes, she’s admitted to smoking marijuana but so have several of my friends and none of them need to seek help of the therapeutic kind. She’s not addicted to marijuana or molly or alcohol. She’s not hurting herself. She’s not going psycho a-la Amanda Bynes. All the girl wants to do is twerk. So if there’s a clinic tucked away in the hills of Malibu that specializes in teddy bears ‘n’ twerks, sign her up, but other than that, she’s just being Miley. She cut her hair, she didn’t shave her head. She’s been in the studio and out there promoting her new single and album. She’s working and hustling, but in her own special way.
She’s coming into her own. Another Disney star gone raw and a bit off the rails but she hasn’t done anything wrong. Shock and offend? Sure, but that’s incredibly easy to do. Heck, I throw on a bathing suit and stroll around the beaches of Southampton and do just that. This is why “Blurred Lines” was the perfect song for Miley to sing along with Mr. Thicke. You see, she was a good girl, she can’t be domesticated (which, mind you, is exactly what she was trying to tell EVERYONE with her single “Can’t Be Tamed” back when she had all of her hair), but she just wants to start that endless journey to find out what exactly rhymes with “hug me.” Honestly, the worst thing about Miley’s performance was Robin’s suit but “hey hey hey,” she most likely had no control over that–or at least as much as she did over her butt-cheeks flopping out of her latex a little bit. That last part was unfortunate, actually. But these things happen! At least it wasn’t a boob.
Her performance was SMART. SMART SMART SMART. Why? Because this was the 30th anniversary of the VMAs, and while not exactly known for its prominence in the musical world–which is fine because it focuses on the music video aspect of the song, not the song itself which is proper considering MTV’s roots grew from music videos–it has been known for some of the most outrageous award show moments. It’s been a while since the VMAs were the canvas for something truly unbelievable, vulgar and borderline Cinemax, and Miley knew this was her time to shine. Her time to step in and say “I’ll raise your Britney Spears skin-toned, bejeweled body suit and give you a skin-toned rubber glove, high-waisted bikini.” She WENT for it. She WANTED to be talked about and get coverage on every major news outlet AND SHE DID. And the fact that she was able to win the night–socially, at least–for a performance at the same awards show where MOTHER EFFIN *NSYNC REUNITED is truly unbelievable and just goes to show that not only can she not stop but she can’t BE stopped. Miley knew what she was about to do and she blew everyone out of the water–and their comfort zone. She took two of the biggest songs of this summer and combined them into one, over-the-top and sexually confused performance. It was brilliant.
So, while you’re sitting there with your judgement face on wearing your judgement panties, Miley Cyrus is laughing all the way to, well, I’m not exactly sure, but probably somewhere that sells both foam fingers and teddy bears. Maybe “take your child to the game” day at a local sports venue. I don’t know. What I DO know is that even if you had to turn your television off or switch over to Breaking Bad for the six-or-so minutes Miley graced the Barclays Center stage, you definitely tuned in today to one of the various news outlets that covered the story for hours upon end. Analyzing each move, talking about her mother and father’s reactions, and the Smith family’s as well. You wanted to avoid it, you wanted to say “that was horrific and disgusting and I refuse to watch it” but right now you’re thinking, what the hell happened? And searching for it on the interwebs. So, let me save you some trouble because you can find the video RIGHT HERE on CNN’s website. Yes, CNN. Who also dedicated an entire section to her performance on their homepage today, the day after the VMAs aired.
Overall, her performance WAS ridiculous and insane and outrageous and shocking but it will be talked about for years and because of that, when Miley’s new album drops on October 8th, it’s going to receive all the more attention. As absurd as the performance was, it twerked.
I’m just gonna go ahead and say it–Miley’s 2013 VMA performance is the new “Britney/Madonna Kiss.”
*Please note all of the above is my opinion.*