East Coast Quake

24 Aug

Today was a day that will always be remembered as the day the Earth kind of stood still. For today, the East Coast experienced a 5.9 earthquake. To be exact, the quake originated in Virginia and was felt in various states such as New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania and Massachusetts. When the quake hit, I happened to be sitting in a hair salon getting my hair did. My hairdresser didn’t feel it, but I did. First the chair started shaking and I mentioned “something is shaking” to which my hairdresser replied “It’s the vent. Sometime’s it takes a few minutes but it will stop.” But then I noticed the mirrors were shaking and that’s when the women in the back room yelled out “the room is shaking!” and that’s when my friend who works in Washington, DC texted me “EARTHQUAKE.” This is when I knew what I was feeling wasn’t just native to New York. So I took to Twitter, naturally, and found out more information in mere seconds than I could have by watching the news for 20 minutes. Friends of mine from various different states commented on the shaking they felt which indicated that it was felt in numerous states up and down the East Coast. Then, the jokes began. There were plenty about the debt ceiling physically collapsing because of the quake as well as pictures of the “devastating aftermath” that just had a lawn chair lying on the ground. I laughed…a lot. The one thing that angered me about this whole earthquake business was that everyone in New York was all like “oh snap! NY had a 5.9 quake! OMG!” well, New Yorker, no…no we didn’t have a 5.9 quake. You see, Virginia had a 5.9 earthquake…we just felt it here in New York. Come on! We’ve already got the best pizza, cheesecake, hot dogs and public transportation, let’s not hog something that rightfully belongs to a different state!

Now, for those of you who didn’t experience this little milkshake of a quake, it went a little something like this:

“Hey, I think the chair is shaking.”

“Yeah. That’s weird.”

“Maybe a train is passing.”

“Must have.”

And that was it. The way I would describe the brief shaking that lasted all of 15-3o seconds in NY was like the experience you get when you’re sitting in your car, stopped in a turning lane as all of the other cars plow past your vehicle and there’s that little WOOSH feeling. Either that or it’s the brief, subtle shaking your house has when you life a few blocks away from a train station. So, it wasn’t anything life-threatening–thank goodness–around these parts, but it caused some minor damage in certain areas. A friend of mine who lives in Virginia told me a few pictures fell off her wall and her glass of water spilled over on her nightstand. Nothing that a few nails and a paper towel can’t fix. I’m hoping no one had any damage greater than that, and at the moment no casualties have been reported.

Then there’s all of these snooty Californian earthquake connoisseurs with their noses in the air saying (in a french, wine country accent) “zis was no earfquake. Here in Cali-for-nnnia we have zee biggest earfquakes you will ever zee or feel. They shake le grapes and make our wine go bad.” And then the East Coast responds with, if you had snow you’d build underground shelters. We’re not used to quakes! We don’t have earthquake safety instructions glued to the hotel bathroom mirrors–we have emergency snow routes.

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