A Love Song

17 Nov

I got bored and wrote a song, minus the musical accompaniment because let’s face it, the only instrument I can play is the Tuba and that doesn’t make or  very good tune. It’s a love song…a very, unconventional love song. Basically, when I was in the hospital recovering from my back surgery they inserted a catheter because I couldn’t stand up for about 24 hours, so I needed a little help. Within that 24 hour period, even though I was sleeping most of the time, I developed a loving relationship with my catheter simply because of how lazy it allowed me to be and how it just sucked everything out. This is what resulted several months later

P.S I wrote this in 5 minutes. (seriously, someone get me an agent, please?)

You came into my life, just as fast as you left

You took care of me while I slept

We were one for the moment

But that moment came to an end

I’ll never forget you, my friend

Easing my pain, like a little drain

I was unaware of the help you did

The only thing you couldn’t do

Was put up with my shit

The day they pulled us a part

Was the day you surely broke my heart

And no longer will I experience laughter

Man, I miss my catheter.

I never knew what the good life was

Until you entered mine

Now I find myself breaking down

From time to time

And I’ll always remember that fateful day

I broke a sweat and started to fray

But then you came my way

Oh, you came my way

Easing my pain, like a little drain

I was unaware of the help you did

The only thing you couldn’t do

Was put up with my shit

The day they pulled us a part

Was the day you surely broke my heart

And no longer will I experience laughter

Man, I miss my catheter.

Yeah you may be disposable

But our love was uncontrollable

I wish I could have you, whenever I want to

But the hospital is a scary place

And I’m not about to get shot in the face

Just to see you again

I’ll always love you, my friend

Easing my pain, like a little drain

I was unaware of the help you did

The only thing you couldn’t do

Was put up with my shit

The day they pulled us a part

Was the day you surely broke my heart

And no longer will I experience laughter

Man, I miss my catheter.

I miss you, little tube, with or without the lube

You and I were stuck like glue

There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do

To get back to the craziest

Get back to the laziest

Get back to not having to leave my bed to pee again

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