As if today wasn’t weird enough being that I have been awake since 8:15am on Wednesday (with the exception of a 1 hour nap from 5-6am) partaking in zombie attacks, dance parties and intellectual Tweet answering, today somehow got weirder.
It started when I was on an errand to Beverly Hills when I saw quite an interesting site. Four men and one woman, dressed in identical overalls, white and maroon plaid shirts and straw cowboy hats were walking across Santa Monica Blvd. on Rodeo Drive. Did I mention one of them was holding a PIG, a FULL SIZED PIG, in their arms? No? Well, one of them was holding a pig. I followed them, with my eyes, as they set up a small gated area in a park across the way, and then placed the pig in it. To do what, I do not know, but it was a pig…on Santa Monica Blvd…in Beverly Hills. Are they making a Beverly Hillbillies based reality show? Hm, I didn’t see anything in Variety about that, but who knows. Anyways, a few seconds later, two more women, also in identical outfits, walked over. This time one of them was carrying a medium sized animal carrier. Though I was not stopped at the red light long enough to catch a glimpse of what was inside, I was able to snap a photo from afar.
And while I know they were probably doing some kind of anti-animal cruelty protest or whatever, I wasn’t there to see that, so I can deem them to be doing whatever I damn well please to think they were doing.
They were reenacting a scene from Charlotte’s Web.
Then, as soon as I turned the corner away from that fun, loving scene, I went to turn on my blinker to signal into the right lane, when a red car came ZOOMING at me. In stead of just continuing on, the woman rolled down her window and said, in a fabulous accent “you can’t change lanes until you have yo blinka on!” My only response was a honk and a “WTF” face as I was confused.
I then ended up stopping next to them up the street which is when I said, ” I did have my blinker on!” and then I sped away as I heard them shriek “ohhhhhhhhhh” but not in an “oh, I was wrong” way, but more of in a “ohhhh no she didn’t” way. So then of course the woman and her friend stopped next to me. At this point I was thinking they most they would do was flip me off or curse at me or maybe just spit at my car. But no. They took it to a level that I never expected to have been taken to. For one of the two women in the car simply said “you need to find more God in your life.” Baffled, I stumbled with my words and came up with “I’m Jewish.” I believe her response was, as they sped away, “that too.”
That was my day. If you must know, I am still awake, and since 8:15am Wednesday, the 20th, I have had 60 minutes of sleep. This will change soon simply because it must.
Thank you to everyone who watched the Live Conan Cam yesterday! It was a HUGE success!