The Dancing Tailor

4 Apr

My friend and I decided to take a day trip to Ithaca, NY. While we were there, did a little window shopping, and stopped by one of the local waterfalls. My friend, who is into all of that hiking and nature stuff, decided she wanted to get a little closer to the falls, so she walked over on some rocks. On her way back over to, well, land I guess, she decided to walk on rocks that were partially submerged in the creek. She wanted to splash some water with her foot, but forgot she was wearing flip-flops, so away went her shoe. It landed in the water, pretty close to where she was, but when she went to retrieve it, she slipped on algae covering the rocks and cut her toe and landed on her knees…smack on her knees. I just stood in the distance laughing because other tourists were watching this all unfold as well.

Later on, we went to a local BBQ place for dinner that had live music–a Steeley Dan cover band…how intriguing. Anyways, my friend and I didn’t care too much about the music, not to mention I couldn’t even hear my own thoughts inside, so we took a seat outside by the “water”. I saw “water” because it kind of just looked like a long puddle, not a pond. The first thing we noticed on our way out was the hippie-licious couple dancing in front of the stage inside. Not only were they the only ones dancing, but I could soon understand exactly why they were they only ones as their form of dancing was kicking and swaying. We took our seats and 10 minutes later, the dancing prince and princess came and sat down next to us. Immediately I noticed how odd they were. The woman had LONG grey hair pulled back into a ponytail that reached her tushie, along with a complete hook nose and mustache set. She was wearing a whit t-shirt, long denim skirt with a small slit in the back by her heels, and black, leather boots. The man had on a country-cowboy kind of button down shirt, baggy jeans, grey hair and a grey handlebar mustache to match his wife’s. They were ready to kick it, I could tell. They were sitting at a table with a few younger folks, but the couple couldn’t have been younger than 60…55 on a good day, a.k.a not that day. I heard them whispering and decided to turn away before I got sick, but then I heard a strange noise. Ripppppp. Yes, I heard a ripping noise, and when it was apparent that it was coming from the very same couple, I looked over only to find that the husband decided his jeans were too long, so the wife took her hands to them and ripped about 3 inches around the bottom of each leg. Problem solved? I guess so…in their minds. The husband took each piece and placed hanged them on the cross sections of the picnic table they were sitting at. The bottom of his jeans now looked all jagged, kind of like pirate capris, just longer…and denim.

Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, it did. The table got a plate of nachos and the wife at them in the most sensual way possible while looking at her husband. Who licks nachos? THIS girl. Not a big deal though because they were right back on the dance floor within 30 minutes…the husband legitimately did a high-kick on the dance floor as my friend and I were walking out of the restaurant. I guess it’s their version of a wave goodbye. Ithaca, NY is definitely an interesting place.

Then we played mini golf…I won. The end.

-Ditk

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One Response to “The Dancing Tailor”

  1. The Mini-Golf gods April 5, 2010 at 2:26 am #

    Dear Ditk,

    From what I recall, you did not make a hole-in-one, whereas your competitor did. We would know. We’re the Mini-Golf gods. We know everything. We also know that you only did better than her on a couple of holes where we decided to mess with her head and move the hole around so her ball would not go in with fewer than 7 strokes. We are kind of assholes.

    Thank you, come again.
    The Mini-Golf gods

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