Takes Two Minutes

21 Dec

Tonight, the unthinkable happened; this is how it all went down…

My friend and I, you know the Irish one, were watching a movie in the TV room of our sorority house when we smelled something odd. “Is something burning?” asked my friend. I took in a whiff and soon realized that something was definitely burning. That’s when we walked into the kitchen to find one of our sisters (21 years old) drunk, standing in front of the microwave while smoke was legitimately pouring out of it. Immediately I yelled at her and told her to open the microwave to let it air out. Finally, after arguing with her for a solid minute or so, she agreed to open it up, and when she did, the entire room filled with smoke. Now, this situation sent my Irish friend and I into a small panic, because if you can recall the time the fire alarm was set off when I was cooking, my Irish friend was involved in that too, so we did NOT want to go through that again. Anyways, once the smoke cleared enough I was able to see what was in the microwave. Sitting before my eyes, on the rotating disc in the microwave was a burnt-to-a-crisp Hot Pocket. I couldn’t understand how she managed to completely char a Hot Pocket that on the label CLEARLY states that it only takes 2 minutes to make. Regardless, she stood there, laughing and telling us to just go to bed if we didn’t like the smell. We then told her we can’t go to sleep because the burnt smell and smoke had traveled up to the second floor, so no matter where we went we couldn’t escape the crisp Hot Pocket. She then tried to eat the Hot Pocket…the inside of it was just as black as the outside. Think of it as the opposite of a “Wigger”. Everybody stared to come home at that moment, and couldn’t help but cough, tear, and question the smell, so eventually there were about 6 or 7 of us in the kitchen, laughing at the situation. There was legitimate tar on the floor from the charred food. The next morning the kitchen still reeked of burnt something, and that’s when I realized part of the inside of the microwave was black.

MLIA? no.

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