No, you don’t really have to smell my blog, mainly because that’s next to impossible; no, wait, it is impossible. Anyways, it’s the most wonderful time of the year, and by wonderful I mean skanky. Basically, Halloween is a time for girls to get dressed up (in nothing) and go out (onto the streets) to show off what they (don’t) have on. In college, it’s even worse than high school–imagine Mean Girls meets Playboy meets your local strip club. It’s a great time to unwind and undress; ask anyone and they’ll tell you all it takes is a loin cloth and stilettos. You may wonder why I am posting this before Halloween is officially arrives, but my reason is simple, Halloween, especially when on a Saturday night, begins on Thursday–much like every weekend in college. My sorority decided this was the perfect opportunity to hold another midnight, drunken bake sale. Genius, I know. So we went all out, we had twice as many baked goods as before and we were ready. All I can say is no one offered to buy me this time and we saw a different Lady GaGa walk by every 5 minutes. The best dressed one was the girl who had the crutches GaGa used in the “Paparazzi” video–it was excellent. The GaGa that was kanoodling with Wayne Gretzky across the street was NOT a good GaGa, no, not at all. Regardless, we made a solid chunk of cash to donate to our philanthropy, and had a good time, and that’s all that matters. In the midst of it all, one of my sisters (of legal age) returned from the bar in a drunken state and had quite the story to tell. First off, I was confused as to why she came from the front of the house when all the bars are behind the house, that’s when she explained she was coming from one of the local hospital parking lots. My first instinct was to ask if she was ok, but then she cleared things up and told me she was with a doctor she met at the bar who had taken her to the parking lot to, “hang out”. So now she was back at the house, standing outside with us, dressed as a flapper and complaining that she left her feather headband in the doctor’s car. She was a little bit of a mess, but that’s ok, still gotta love her for the entertainment she always brings. Then she sat on the porch and meowed like a cat for about 5 minutes straight. That was my night. Stick around because there’s sure to be plenty more stories, as the weekend has only just begun–there’s still tonight and Saturday night for more stories to unfold.
Watch out for pumpkins and people dressed up as the Gosselins.