Methods for an Easy Fast

24 Sep

If you haven’t guessed by now, I am indeed a Jew. If that fact decreases my number of viewers, so be it, but I love being Jewish, so I won’t let it slow me down even if it gets you down. Being that Yom Kippur, one of holiest Jewish holidays, starts this weekend, I thought I’d give some tips as to how to enjoy fasting–something I never thought was even possible.

1. Eat a large dinner the night before–after dinner on the eve of Yom Kippur, your fast begins, so eat your heart out, otherwise you’re going to end up gnawing on your fingers in your sleep, possibly resulting in the loss of appendages.

2. Sleep as late as possible (unless, of course you do the whole temple thing, because I don’t do that anymore).

3. Spend an entire afternoon watching reruns of America’s Next Top Model– for obvious reasons, watching this show will further encourage you to not eat which fits in perfectly with a day of fasting!

4. Don’t watch the Food Network–I did this once…never again.

5. Hang out with Jews–this holiday is a chance for all the non-Jews that I eat meat in front of on Friday’s during lent to retaliate, so I find it safe to hang out with my own kind.

6. Don’t eat too heavy when you break your fast– regurgitation is not a happy ending to a holy holiday. Keep it simple, keep it light, the closeness in proximity with the words breakfast and break-fast is not a coincidence! You’re supposed to, typically, eat breakfast foods such as bagels, lox and shmere as if it was your first meal of the day–because it is!

Well, there you have it. I hope these simple tips will help you have the easiest of fasts! L’Shana Tova, Chag Sameach, Happy Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement)

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