It was the night before classes, and all through the dorm, not a roommate was stirring, just a quiet rain storm…
Yeah, so, I’m not going to even attempt at finishing that one, but I do have another story to tell, and this one is good, I gurantee it.
So, it really was the night before classes, and everything was pretty calm in my room. I was in the common room watching some television, one of my roommates was getting ready for bed, another was out sleeping at her boyfriend’s and the other was just minding her own business. I was deep into an episode of “The Nanny” when I heard a scream, followed by a series of “OWs”. I couldn’t imagine what happened, but then my roommate came limping into the common room claiming she had a piece of glass lodged into her toe. I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say anything, and kept watching t.v. My other roommate, whose mother is a nurse, happens to know a lot about medical situations, and I appreciate that, so she put in a few words of wisdom, in which didn’t seem to satisfy my wounded roomie. “Put on some bacitracin and a band aid” “no, it hurts too much, I’m going to take ibuprofen” “The bacitracin will help keep it from being infected” “won’t the band aid keep the splinter in and not let it out?”–this went on for a good 5 minutes…I just stood there. Finally, I decided to go back and watch t.v, when she started to ask if we had a needle–we didn’t have a needle. She then said she was going to use the tip of a small knife, which we advised her was a very bad, potentially lethal idea, she ignored us, and pulled out a bar-knife attached to a corkscrew. I laughed. When she realized we were right, and that she had a better chance of cutting her toe off than she did actually getting the splinter out, she decided to go to the main desk to ask for a needle, or a pin, and said she would be right back. Literally 3 minutes later she walked back into the room and said “the ambulance is coming”–I damn near pissed my pants. This simply couldn’t be true, it was a splinter, it may have not even been a splinter, but low and behold, the ambulance was on its way. She told me the girl at the main desk said it was probably the best thing to do because they would know how to get it out, so obviously she listened and called the campus ambulance. While on the phone, the dispatcher asked if she was bleeding–no. Having trouble breathing–no. And here’s the kicker, she asked if she was conscious. I’m not going to tell you what my roommate answered because if you don’t know, you may not be conscious yourself.
I sat with her in the lobby, laughing, and making fun of her simply because this situation was far too pathetic to pass up some quality teasing. Finally, the 3 paramedics arrived, followed by one guy from the department of public safety, or the DPS dude, for short. The paramedics checked out the problem area, while I carefully documented it all via camera-phone. They decided to try and remove whatever was in her foot, but they didn’t have a pair of tweezers, so of course I was sent back to our room to get the tweezers my roommate uses to pluck her eyebrows–that’s sanitary. When I returned, the paramedics were sterilizing a safety pin–I feared for myself, not my roommate, because I thought side-splitting laughter was about to ensue…and it did. They sat there, poking and prodding at her toe, trying their best to remove the object. The DPS guy was looking at her and asked “how many piercings do you have?” through the pain my roommate mustered up enough strength to say “nine” in which he then said “nine piercings and you can’t endure this pain?” we all laughed, and of course I had to add the fact that she has 3 tattoos as well. She claimed she CHOSE to have that pain, so it was different. I then told her she CHOSE to call the ambulance. Tisk, tisk.
Ten minutes and two facebook mobile uploads later, the splinter was out. They cleaned it, bandaged it, and took down her information, and my third night back at school was a success. And here I was thinking I was running out of things to blog about…shame on me.
You simply can’t make this shit up.
Anyways, classes DO start tomorrow, and even though I don’t have any classes until 2:15pm, I must get some rest. Goodnight world, and sleep well, for tomorrow, there will be more stories to tell.