So “lost in translation” seemed to be the theme of my day today. I stumbled into language barriers on numerous occasions, mainly while at work, per usual. It first began when a family came in for lunch, and it became quite clear that they really only spoke broken english. It was great, actually, because the mother and father were caucasian, and I’m pretty sure spoke French, but their kid was full-blown Asian–that family reeked of adoption…not in a bad way obviously because adoption is a good thing, but I’m just saying it was obvious. Then another family came in, also poor english speakers, but the father spoke ok english, as for his wife and his son…oy vey. After those customers left, the translation issues pretty much dissipated for a while, and instead I just got to marvel at the young couple who came in to eat, and said grace before they chowed down. I didn’t know it was so common to say grace at a restaurant, but it’s the second time I’ve seen it this week, so I guess it’s pretty trendy now-a-days. Then there was the woman who tipped me 6 cents. SIX CENTS! Good thing she left the money in the bill-holder on the table and left before I saw it otherwise I would have handed her the change and given a look dirtier than a gas station bathroom. She’s lucky!
So, if you were worried that my encounters with foreign languages were over for the day, well, you thought wrong, and you’re in luck, because there’s one more! I was in the kitchen, and the chef, who only speaks spanish, decided to ask me some questions. Now, I may not be fluent, but 7 years of spanish classes is definitely enough to help me understand and participate in basic conversations, like the one he was trying to have with me. Skipping over the bullshit, and cutting right to the chase, he asked if I had a novio, aka a boyfriend. I laughed, because english speaking, jewish boys never ask me this question, and said “no”. He looked shocked–and you don’t need to speak someone’s language to understand their facial expressions! He then asked if he could be my boyfriend and wanted a kiss (this probably had to do with earlier when I said “muchos besos para tu para mi comida” after he made my dinner for me. I don’t know why I said that, I thought I was being polite–not leading him on! So I felt bad and blew him a kiss, but he said no–clearly there was too much air between us for his liking. So then he pointed to my face so I was like “oh, what the hell”, and leaned in for him to kiss me on the cheek, when it became apparent to me that he was trying for my lips, I turned, he got cheek, I left the kitchen. End of story.
Later that night my mom and I went to see a play in the city that her co-worker produced, it was called Sex And The Holy Land…it was about a girl who travels to Israel with 2 friends to find her orgasm…what a GREAT show to see with my mom, let me tell you. The show happened to be great, actually, and it was very funny and jam-packed with Jewish humor–just the way I like it!
Overall, today wasn’t the weirdest day I’ve encountered, but some of it’s moments are up there…and the Mets lost 10-1…and I found out David Wright is on the 15 day disabled list…I’m expecting Citi Field to burn down sometime in the next few weeks, because with all these injuries acquired by our top, core players, it’s unfathomable what will happen to the Mets next…
Such is life.
P.S it is now officially Tuesday, August 18th, which means THE HANNAH MONTANA MOVIE IS OUT ON DVD!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m getting my copy later today kids, you better go get yours too! But, save one for me!