Harry Potter and the…noisy movie theatre?

31 Jul

     So yesterday I went to go see he new Harry Potter movie, as I am a fan of the films, and the movie was great, but what went on in the theatre, well, that may have surpassed Malfoy’s hair, which was quite fabulous if I do say so myself. Anyways, it all started when my friend and I walked up to the ticket booth to purchase our tickets, as I do not believe in sneaking in and seeing movies for free! Only very naughty people would do such a thing! As I was saying, we were at the ticket booth and a creepy man in front of us bought a ticket to see Harry Potter as well. My friend whispered to me “let’s make sure we don’t sit near that guy”, as he was a middle age man, I’d say early 40s, going to see Harry Potter alone, on a Thursday night over the summer…odd, yes I know. 

     Fast forward to the theatre, where we take our seats. My friend and I are quietly discussing upcoming movies we’d like to see, in a nearly empty movie theatre, with a few people a number of rows behind us, and the same in front and to the sides of us as well. When all of a sudden I hear someone ask “this is Harry Potter, right?” it was the same man from the ticket line, and he was all up in my grill. My friend and I said yes, and he walked away, which was followed by my friend asking if we should be worried. I said no, because I laugh at possible pedophiles, HA!, and continued our conversation. 

     Now, the movie has begun, when a strange smell begins to fill the air…beer. Someone brought beer into the movie theatre, great. There’s nothing I like more than watching some magical spells and potions come to life on the big screen with the decadent smell of hops filling the air. This is false information, because I hate everything that has to do with beer, I even hate pouring it from a tap because it always splatters on my shoes!

     All is well for about an hour or so into the film, when I begin to hear a baby cry. Now, I know there’s some serious “snogging”(kissing, for all you Americans) that goes on in this particular Potter film, but I know for sure that fornication and child birth is WAY too far for J.K Rowling to go in any of her books. So naturally, I was confused. Moments later the sound stopped, but soon after, the crying intensified, which lead to a mother walking out of the theatre with a baby in her arms…success. First of all, who brings a baby, AN INFANT, to the movies? I wonder, do babies get in for free? Do they eat snacks? Breast feeding at the movies, though it is dark, would count as indecent exposure in public now wouldn’t it? Regardless, a woman brought a BABY to see Harry Potter…like, only in America, right? So she walked out of the theatre, no more crying, thank goodness. But then she comes back in, and it starts again. I wanted to scream “TAKE THE BABY OUT!” but this was no time to be a hero, I let Harry maintain the spotlight he was in, on this particular night, and this particular night only!

     Last, but certainly not least, a man in a white shirt walked from the back of the theatre to the side exit door, just next to the screen, at some point during the film. He soon appeared again with metal poles and what looked like a black case in his hands, and made his way back to the back of the theatre, and eventually out of sight. My first thought was that we were all going to die, but once he left, and my friend asked if he was going to film the movie or not, in which I explained to her the movie is almost over so he’d be a terrible bootlegger, I felt better. He then returned, slowly walked down the aisle again, returned his equipment beyond the exit door, and left once again. 

     Why does weirdness occur every time I’m near? Why can’t I just have a normal outing to the movies? I guess someone out there just wants me to keep blogging…

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