Let’s Talk About Sleep, Baby.

10 Jul

Is this practice really necessary?      Sleeping, what’s the deal with sleeping? What is it even for? I mean, I’m not a complete idiot, I know what it’s for, but WHAT IS IT FOR? Why can’t the day just go on? Why can’t I go to a Met game at 3AM? Come on, that would be fabulous. Imagine, going to a Met game, or any other professional sporting event of your liking at 3AM? I can feel the heartburn now from a nice ballpark frank and a side of peanuts and Cracker Jacks.

     But in all seriousness, sleeping gets in the way of so many activities. Like, watching the sunrise, millions of people sleep through that marvelous spectacle everyday! If sleeping didn’t exist, sunsets would be like, the new Oprah; people would have more time to find cures and vaccinations for diseases; products would be produced at a faster, more efficient pace; rappers would have more time to cause feuds; all in all, no sleep would bring about lots of improvement to our world!

     Then of course the downside would be people falling asleep everywhere–on the job, in the car, during sex–but this all already happens so I’m sure someone who doesn’t sleep will find a cure for sleep and everyone can stay up and just live life. Besides, I need someone to talk to when I’m up until 4AM every night.

Just a thought.


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