BREAKING NEWS!

So if you haven’t a;ready heard, the adorable couple that was Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal called it quits earlier today. Being notorious for writing songs about her failed relationships and not being secretive about the boy who broke her heart, jokes were immediately made about what Tay Tay’s song about Jakey-Poo would sound like. Well, ladies and gents, the lyrics for Taylor’s song about Jake have surfaced only to prove that she doesn’t mess around! I acquired them from a super, secret source, but just remember where you saw these lyrics first!!!!!!

 

Jake the Snake

Jake, Jake. I really liked you but you were fake, fake

Thought you were mine for the taking

But like your movies we started tanking, yeah

 

All I wanted was love and hugs

But all you gave me were some other drugs

You bought me presents that totaled a lot

And took me for coffee that really hit the spot

But it was availability and kindness that you lacked

You’re getting old so I guess you’ll have to go Brokeback

 

You were my Prince of Persia

As we sat under an October Sky

I was the Good Girl who walked a Moonlight Mile

Just to find Proof in your smile

I gave you everything, I was full of joy

Even forgave you for playing Bubble Boy

I guess I just don’t understand…I thought you were Spiderman

 

That night I turned 21

Wanted to stay in but you wanted to have fun

So you took my hand and away we went

Good time were had and money was spent

My phone rang at 11 PM

I just couldn’t miss this call again

My producer said he needs just one more song

Right then I knew we just couldn’t last long!

 

You were my Prince of Persia

As we sat under an October Sky

I was the Good Girl who walked a Moonlight Mile

Just to find Proof in your smile

I gave you everything, I was full of joy

Even forgave you for playing Bubble Boy

I guess I just don’t understand…I thought you were Spiderman

 

I know I’ll be sad

Thinking back on the good times we’ve had

But I know The Day After Tomorrow

My heart will no longer be filled with sorrow

So for now it’s time to make my bed

Besides, you were just a silly Jarhead

You were my Prince of Persia

As we sat under an October Sky

I was the Good Girl who walked a Moonlight Mile

Just to find Proof in your smile

I gave you everything, I was full of joy

Even forgave you for playing Bubble Boy

I guess I just don’t understand…I thought you were Spiderman

 

8/9/10

Eight. Nine. Ten. A date that will not happen for another 100 years just so happened to be my 20th birthday. I think it was quite appropriate for a cool day to also be a cool girl’s birthday. I spent it with friends and family and couldn’t have asked for a better day. It was both fun and relaxing. Nothing too special happened on my birthday that is worth blogging about, but I did get an iPad, so i decided to write a blog post using my new device. So, you guessed it, I’m coming at you live from my iPad! Hooray. It’s pretty cool thus far I suppose. Still trying to get the hang of it, but as for now I give it a 4/5 apples. Pun. More posts coming soon so stay tuned, people.

For now, all my best…
A Ditk

Birfday

     So it is now 1:30 AM, making it officially no longer birthday, but I wrote this post with the intention of it still being my birthday when it was written, so let’s just pretend it’s still August 9th, ok? thanks.

     So this is it, my 19th birthday. Everyone keeps asking me “so how’s it feel to be 19?!” or “do you feel any older?” and to be honest, I always respond with “the same as yesterday” or “no?”, respectively. Today started out kind of depressing, in a weird way, which made me wonder if birthdays always suck so much, and why do people always feel the need to be douche bags when there’s new people in the room? Why do they feel the need to impress someone they’re only going to see once in their lives? The people I started my birthday with at midnight are usually some of the most loving and caring people I know, but they were acting off…blame it on the Goose, I guess. It kind of made me feel like crap, so I kind of thought of pulling out the “…but it’s my birthday” card, but then I remembered it wasn’t even my birthday at that very moment, and I absolutely HATE that card. Jokers are better. 

     Anyways, I rang in the big one-nine with a few of my sorority sisters, and a random dude, in NJ, just outside Camden, the crime capitol of the U.S, and my future hometown. I sat and watched my friends play some absurd drinking game with cards, that was apparently named after some Scottish man with turrets featured on a Youtube video…I’m sure he’d be honored to know people are drinking in his honor. I still don’t understand the game, but all I know is that I was referred to as “The Met Fan” for the entire duration of the game because everyone there was a Phillies fan, or “Phan”. So, things seemed weird to me, and with that, I went up to bed, and attempted to sort my life out, in my head, and tried to plan at what age certain things would happen. But then I realized that you can’t just plan out life, that’s just not how it works. Life may have a plan for you, and you may have a plan for life, but life always wins, and there’s never anything you can ever do to change that. Many people try, but none succeed. I never feel different than before on my birthdays, but right now, I feel odd, I feel out of it, and lost. I know I;m still so young, but I like to round up, so I’m basically 20, which means I’m graduating college soon…but not really…and there’s still so many things I have yet to do. I need to stop setting such unrealistic goals for myself, because I always just end up disappointed. 

     After all of that nonsense that I wrote at about 2:00AM on my birthday, I went to bed and woke up to a wonderful 2 hour drive home. I stopped at my father’s house, we went out for brunch. Then I stopped at my cousins house, we talked for a few minutes, and then I traveled home, with one quick stop at a store, to pick up a cupcake, so I could blow out a candle on my birthday, because everyone should get to do that on their special day! Then I arrived home, met my friend, and we traveled along to the Blink-182, Fallout Boy, Panic at the Disco concert at Jones Beach! It’s safe to say that it was one of the most amazing concerts I have ever been to, and my plan to marry Tome Delonge (Blink’s singer) is still in the works, even though he’s married…and I’m pretty sure he has kids, oh well. Regardless, it was an amazing performance by all the acts, even Chester French (a newcomer) who loved profanity, and told us to put our arms up in a V–like a Vagina. But the 5 years Blink was off the scene allowed them to marinade, and become more flavorful performers, because the last time I saw them live, they were great, but this time, they were ABSOLUTELY AMAZING! Even more-so than the milk left over from a sugary cereal, which is always the best, and most delicious part! 

     Despite the day’s lackluster start, it turned out to be one of my favorite birthdays yet! Even though the people I saw weren’t in their best state, I still got to see them, and spend some of my day with them, which is all that matters to me. In the end, my birthday is just the celebration of my mom’s first moment of relief in 9 months, and over 24 hours of labor (sorry mom, you always ate such good food while I was in the woom) until they knocked her out and deemed me a C-Section baby, short for cesarian (one of my favorite words) section. I guess this is like a real mother’s day, so thanks for not giving up mom! If 24+ hours of pushing and failing isn’t love, then I don’t know what love is!